Wednesday, January 19, 2011


Yeup thats me!

My parents are going to Puerta Vallarta (its an annual thing they have been doing for so many years) and all these years, my parents have always asked us to join them for a week or two.

I've always had to say no cause we could not afford it and my husband has no interest in going. Then my parents said last year that they wanted to take us all...13 in total but then again my husband did not want to go. Parents suggested a cruise and of course we know the answer to that one. husband had no interest. Finally my parents said forget it. Not worth the stress!

He kept insisting some place like California and I wanted to try something new..Hawaii but in the end he won and we will be going in April just the 4 of us!

So back to the point of this parents are going and asked for me and my sisters to join them for a week. All expenses paid. HE DOES NOT WANT ME TO GO.

I'm hurt, torn and I feel guilty that I do not have the strength to fight back. What do I do? Do I say forget it and just go? Do I fight with him? I need some solid advice...

Oh yeah, he and his friends go on an annual Vegas trip without any hesitation and I always tell him with sincerety, "have a great time"! THIS SUCKS BALLS!


  1. I insist that you go on this trip! Your husband can manage without you for one week just like you do when he goes to Vegas. You have nothing to feel guilty about, just go!

  2. Ok, I am going to be blunt here...why in the hell doesn't he want you to go, and how have you not punched him in the head by now??? I often travel with my parents and/or sister. My husband tells me to have fun and that he will be sure to enjoy his alone time when I'm gone. I went on a week-long vacation with my best friend last year. If he doesn't want to go traveling with me, that's fine, but I never would have married him if he thought it was ok to keep me from traveling with friends and family. Not cool. I would be throwing a fit if I were you, unless he has a REALLY freaking good reason for not wanting you to go.

  3. It's with your family for gosh sakes. It's not even a "girl's trip". I ask why he is being so against you going, but based on what you put in your post - it sounds unfair and that there's a double standard. Good luck!

  4. This is the second time that I recall where your husband has put the ky-bosh on your travel plans. I guess I'd ask him what his reasons are, but ultimately this should be YOUR choice, not his.

  5. As an adult with no living parents by the ripe old age of 31 I have to say husband be *^&*%*&, YOU absolutely must go on that trip. Life is too short and these opportunities are too scarce. If he doesn't want to go himself, that's his choice. But you going is YOURS and yours alone.

    My own blood is boiling on this one. He has no right to give you permission unless you have given him that right. And if you have, take it back. He can support you or he can be left wondering what he did wrong. But in this, it's about his short-comings, not yours.

    Sorry to be so blunt and so harsh. But please do not let his double-standards lead to your own regrets. And this is something that I can see leading to a regret...

  6. this is your marriage and we all have things we put up with and negotiate in a relationship. My first impulse is to tell him by all means I will be gong and he can to take a leap if he has a problem with husband would never say have a problem with the idea. I do however put up with things in my relationship that no one else would ever tolerate. Additionally I am sure my husband puts up with stuff from me that his friends would not tolerate.

    Only you can negotiate your relationship. Remember there are benefits and consequences to all decisions and compromises. You have to decide.


  7. Is he giving you a reason why he doesn't want you to go? It makes no sense. You totally need to go.

  8. Go. And don't feel guilty either. There is no excuse for a double standard to exist in a relationship. You are equals and he has no right to "no" especially if he has been invited too and chooses not to go.

    I'd be very interested to hear his reasoning.

  9. You should go. It's you FAMILY for f's sake (and even if it was with your girlfriends I would definitely tell you to go). He gets to go, so should you. And yeah, WHY doesn't he want you to go? Is it because he wasn't invited?

  10. Well, I agree with Tina. The negotiations in a marriage are something no one else can really comment about. I put up with certain things in the name of marital tranquility....and he puts up with things about me. I have nixed him going on trips before (not family trips, but with friends). He tried to nix me going to BOOBS! I have not gone to certain events just because I did not want to fight about it.

    But, since you give him the Vegas trip, he does owe you (unless you already get repaid some other way). You know whether you have the energy to fight on this one or not. My best advice: wait until he's in a really good mood then tell him how much you really want to go and what you will do to make it easy on him (is he worried about taking care of the kids or something?)

    Let us know what you decide.

  11. Okay Sweetie....
    I am on the side of HELL YES YOU GO GIRL!!!! But, I'm one of those people who think marriage is a sacred, personal blessing that we need to consider. So, even though I want to kick your ass out the door to go on this trip, I know that your marriage is more important than anything else. I also believe none of us should lose ourselves or what matters to us for the sake of our marriage. Sure, we have to negotiate and decides what's worth the fight. But, in the end--you are the only one who can decide where all this is coming from with your husband. Maybe you already know. Perhaps it's just a matter of telling him how you feel, why you feel this way and ask him to try to see your side of the situation. Our parents will not be around forever--this trip can be a gift you give to them.
    Good luck!

  12. You should go!! He is being selfish. End of story.

    Thank you thank you!