Friday, December 31, 2010


And HOLY bejesus a NEW ME!!

I am down around 65lbs and for the first time in so many years, I do not have to go on one of those dreadfull diets advertised on the telly!!! Now I watch them and think in my head, will those people succeed? Will they keep the weight off? Always in the back of my head, I think this is not a for sure thing and sometimes I just need to be bitch slapped! Why cant I take it and enjoy the ride?? WHY?

My only resolution for 2011...SPEND LESS! Yeup, its my only one and oh so hard to do at times! With two kids and living in one of the most expensive cities in the world, it gets TOUGH! Gas is at $1.22 per litre. Yes you heard right. I sometimes go across the border to fill up and that is about $30 dollars less per fill. Craziness is what it is. Between school tuition, hockey fees, sports fees, drum fees, music fees, mortgage, goes on and on! What's crazy is we can finally enjoy our income somewhat but I think the daily costs are adding up!

Catch 22 - i can finally go into the store at the mall and find clothes off the rack...but I WANT THEM ALL! I love how everything fits so nicely and my BODY IS BACK! Im enjoying it right now cause dammit, I freakin worked hard for this and earned every bit of it!! I guess its one of the sideffects of losing all this weight! Wonder if they would advertise this on the lapband sites! heheheh!

Still dealing with some pain issues when I eat (ulcer?) and I am always worried but what else is new! Taking it one day at a time! My mom thinks I am starving myself! Right! I just dont like eating in front of people!

I have been reading all of your amazing blogs and I am so thankful to have met you day face to face!

2011 is going to ROCK!!!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Friday, December 17, 2010

5 More sleeps....

I love love this time of year!

The craziness gets crazier and crazier every year!

The kids are so excited...

Feeling a ton better! Taking it one day at a time!

The one pro about the band...not leaving your guests house feeling stuffed as a PIG! Especially during the holiday season! WOOOHOO!

Weigh in day is tomorrow and Barium test is on Wednesday!

Hope you are all having a blessed week!

Monday, December 13, 2010

60lbs LOST!

It only took a lapband and an ULCER but dammit I did it!

Thats the good news...the crappy shit, is I fell down the stairs this morning and I feel like I have been run over by a BUS! My whole right side is throbbing! I cried all the way into work - I am mentally and physically drained from all of the crap going on with me right now! I know this too shall pass...

I emailed the doc's office for an unfill cause Saturday night I had an episode...I dont think ULCER's, LAPBAND's and CARBONATED SODA mix well! YEUP!

I am going for my barium test next week...QUESTION: do you need to be completely unfilled for this procedure??

Oh yeah, I am freaking .47 away from being OVERWEIGHT! Still OBESE! Soon my friends...SOOON!

Hope you all had a fab weekend! Only 12 more days...WOOOT WOOT!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


I am so tired of freakin burping after I put something in my mouth!!!!!!!!

Taking Nexium for my so called Ulcer!

Monday, December 6, 2010

19 More Days till Christmas...

Thank you to all of your well wishes as I am dealing with this crappy ULCER thing! I am on medication and taking it one day at a time...still nauseated, loss of appetite and vomitting!
I will weigh in tomorrow...the way its looking, the 160's are closer and closer. Stay tuned!
I am offically getting excited about Christmas! I love seeing the parking lots full of trees, houses decorated and all the beautiful lights!
It is truly special seeing it thru the eyes of my 6 year old daughter...takes my breath away!
Hope you are all doing well...take the time to enjoy each day!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

If you are experiencing any of the following symptoms...

Then you should get checked out for the presence of a gastric ulcer. You will need to see your doctor for a proper diagnosis.

The signs and symptoms of a gastric ulcer are almost opposite to the signs and symptoms of duodenal ulcers - the main differences are noticed in the timing and severity of the pain.
· Gastric ulcers generally cause a dull aching pain, often right after eating.
· Making a meal can often cause an increase in pain
· Eating will not relieve pain as is the case with other types of ulcers
· Indigestion and heartburn, or acid reflux
· Nagging pain in the upper abdomen area below your breastbone
· Episodes of nausea
· A noticeable loss of appetite
· Unplanned weight loss
· Another less common symptom of a gastric ulcer is that about 3 in every 10 people are woken up at night by dull ulcer pains – this usually happens 3- 4 hours after eating.


Monday, November 29, 2010

BLACK Friday!

We finally got to Seattle at around 10 at night on Thursday! Thankfully!
We settled in and then attempted to get to bed around midnight! The last time I looked at the clock it was 1:15 and we were up at 4:45 AM to attempt the Macy's Black Friday shopping! Well, that was a waste of time! The sales were just not there! Slightly disappointed! Everything I bought was of course "regular price"

I picked up a few new pieces to add to my new wardrobe! I got my Joe's...size 32 - honey boot cut! Lookin good!

I was barely able to eat...due to the pain on my right side and I think I was just nervous to eat in front of 12 other women! They all gave their 5 cents worth and we all narrowed it down to an "ulcer" cause the pain is sudden after I eat. If it were in my liver, it would take longer to digest!

On the flip side, I only spent $60 in 3 days for food and beverages! CHEEEEEP!

So gonna go for my blood tests and then wait to see if anything abnormal comes back and then get back to the doc for additional tests! May have to do that barium thingy!

We finally got back last night around dinner wait at the border - wooohoo and NO DUTY! Cant beat it!

Cant wait to go home and chill tonight....its gonna be a crazy week!

Hope you all had an amazing TURKEY GOBBLE GOBBLE DAY!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Went to the DOC!

And everything looks ok...
I know! CRAZY EH?

He didnt take any fluid out or add any. He said my progress looks great and to just take it easy. If I feel crappy to go back and see him!

I was able to eat yesterday and last night I even had some chicken. Slowly and one bite at a time. The way I am supposed to eat with a band! I have the hemangioma which is a cyst on my liver...and the vomitting has inflamed it and caused me pain! Need to take it one day at a time.

He did give me meds for the nausea in case it is a bug or something and my family doc gave me a referral for blood work!

SO I do feel better and I am taking my time eating...keep you posted!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all of your support, it is so appreciated!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American PEEPS!
Let the shopping begin!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I called the nurse....

And I am trying to get into see the doc tomorrow (wed)!

She said its very rare for a slipped band and it could just be that I am tight. I told her that I have not had a fill since may and she said with my body changing and even the weather change, it can affect my band. Let's see...keep you all posted!

I am just not liking the nausea, vomitting, chest pain and constipation!

Hope you are all having a better day!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Calling on out to my PEEPS...

Here are my symptoms...

* pressure in my chest and throat
* have not eaten in a couple of days
* what I did eat, came right back out
* constant burping
* i was diagnosed with an hemangioma on my liver cause I used to get this pain and for the last three days it has been constant. every time i eat, i get pain, and then i vomit. i have had ultrasounds and a CT scan.

I have emailed the nurse at the clinic and I am now debating whether to go to the emergency or not.

I am feeling crappy and I need HELP!

Hope you are all doing well!

Thursday, November 18, 2010


My niece is going without me...YES without ME!

A whole group of teenagers and their moms for a Show Choir Performance in APRIL.

So...I need some suggestions for a decent priced hotel in a somewhat safe and trendy area/neighbourhood!


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Counting the Days...

Till the ladies 3 day weekend of FUN!
I am nervous already about how I will eat and how much people will be watching me.

Lately I have been so tight...dont know why! Finished my TOM. Last night I ate small pieces of meat and it didn't stay down very long! The burping lasted all freakin night! I couldn't even have my hot chocolate. I WAS STARVING!

I did this cause I wanted to be healthy inside and out. It seems I am living on sliders...when will I get there????? I know this band is finicky but come on already, I just wanna eat a decent meal without crazy ass burping and tightness! Will it be soups forever??????

I weighed in this morning and it read 180. Happy but not crazy happy...I know you know what I mean!

Hope you lovvies are all doing well...I may have some time to actually read some of your great blogs this afternoon...when the BOSS is away!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I could SELL tickets!!

For y'all to see me in my designer jeans that are way too low in the back...they ZIP up but the pocket is way too low on my leg/ass and my muffin top is over the TOP! Thinking maybe I bought the wrong cut! I will perservere!!! Gen the hotty has inspired me...I CAN DO IT!

Heading to Seattle for Black Friday in a couple of weeks with 14 of my bestest lady friends...I am bound to find the "perfect" designer jeans!

I did buy myself my "50 lb loss GIFT"...

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


It only took a little less than 10 months...BUT I LOST 51 lbs and DAMN I feel good!

Starting weight: 232
Today: 181
(Stupid ASS BMI thingy still says OBESE! It can as famously said...SUCK BALLS!)

Its been a crazy few weeks...the party is done and my dad is feeling better! I totally got my husband...had no clue! Mission ACCOMPLISHED!

I do get a little nervous every time I am about to eat in front of anyone and I panic and I get tight and nothing wants to go down! Maybe I have a bug or something...still no TOM! Dont know whats going on...

In Canada we recognize our fallen soldier's and honour them on Remembrance Day which is Nov 11th and we wear our POPPIES proud!

So we all have Thursday off and my boss graciously decided to close on Friday as well! Oh yea! I so need a day of NOTHING! I may not even brush my teeth or shower...just stay in bed and chill ALL DAY LONG! HAHAHAH! Keep you posted!

Hope you are all having a great week!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

What a crappy night...

Actually WEEK but last night was horrible...sliming, stuck and feeling like total SHIT!

I was so afraid of puking in front of my husband that I had to hide out in the bathroom. Even tried to take a bath to relax me.

I have been barely eating for the last two weeks and then I decide to have a little steak. Well that was so WRONG!

I should have weighed myself this morning!

Planning my husband's big 40th bday for Saturday - maybe the stress and TOM of the month is playing tricks on my body! I haven't had a fill since May and I am TIGHT! IM HUNGRY!

Hope you are all having a better day...


Sunday, October 31, 2010

I'm alive...

And back from my brain crazy roller coaster!

Thank you all so much for your thoughtful and considerate messages...its so sweet and will not be forgotten!

My Dad is doing so much better. They are trying really hard to get rid of the infection...he has 7 weeks of IV antiobiotics and then they will have to do more tests! If they cant get rid of the infection, then he will have to have the knee replacement all over again. Something we are trying to not even think about!

I haven't even stepped on the scale...been a little tight the past week and the only thing I can think of is that its that time of the month again! My eating has been horrible. So out of routine and eating crap. Hoping things will settle down and I can get back into!

We did go to a Halloween Party and I was in no mood...negative nelly! Within an hour, I was dancing and dancing...all night that I woke up with my hips hurting this morning! Who needs the gym when you can dance all night long! Just what I needed as a stress reliever!!!

Now I want to look into hip hop dancing lessons...Ive always loved to dance! This could be crazy but this is the new ME!

Oh yeah, people are not recognizing me at 50lbs down...feels a little strange but I WILL TAKE IT!

Hope you are all having a SPOOKTAKULAR DAY!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Mental Health Day...

I need one!

My Dad got admitted to the hospital last night...he has an infection in his knee which he had replaced last year! My poor Dad and his surgeries. Thankfully he is a strong man and hoping his heart is as well. Everytime I call my Mom, she starts to cry and then it makes me sad...I can see the pain and stress in her face and she is so easy to read. I keep trying to remind her that Dad can see it as well. She needs to STOP!

I need a mental health day...the hospital is an hour drive from my house! Along with hockey, dance, school meetings etc. I had to file ME all the way to the back and this can make me crazy!

The worse part...My son told me this morning that he has no clean underwear! OH MY GAWD I just about lost it! Serenity NOW!

Here's hoping everyone is having a better day...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Travelling sisterhood...

Let me know if you are interested and I will send!

Size 20 Gap Pant!

Size 20 Gap Dress Pant!

Size 20 Gap Boyfriend Jeans!

Size 38 CJ by Cookie Boyfriend Jeans!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Where did the weekend go....

Whoever invented a 2 day weekend should have a talking tooooo - PRONTO!

Two days is not enough for me. By the time I wind down, I need another day to just chill, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, drama, hockey, swimming lessons and a little church to cleanse the soul...and mamma needs a lot of soul cleansing!

I weighed in at 186 yesterday but funny cause it was flipping back and forth to 185. I will see it this week...for damn sure! I wanna be 180 before our Annual Black Friday Girls Weekend in Seattle on November 25th! 3 days of, no kids, no husbands, amazing food and then dancing all night with the college boys! You cant beat it!

The house is all decorated for Halloween and I didn't have anything to do with it! My husband and kids - too cute! I even scored a Hanna Montana costume for my chicky poo to wear! She looks so freakin cute! I wanted to be Snooki from Jersey Shore - I may be able to pull it off!

I will post pics soon...I promise! I wanted to do it at my goal which is 60lbs down and that would be 172! Only 14 more lbs!

Hope you all had a FAB weekend! Here's to a sweet week!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

To all my Canadian Babes!
We do it a little earlier than our American friends...
A few thinks I am thankful for...
1. My Family and Friends
2. My Hot Blog friends
3. My Band
Peace out all you SKINNY BITCHES!

Monday, October 4, 2010


To tighten the reins and get back on track...

A month of back to school has happened, we have my sons hockey schedule and my daughters dance schedule, so now its about ME!!!!!!!

Let's see...

Monday - Drums (rush home and cook dinner)
Tuesday - Dance Class (I can walk the lake - depending on weather)
Wednesday - Nadda so far but not a good day for me - may be my day off!
Thursday - Dinner at my mil's (1 hour at gym)
Friday - I usually go home and clean the house
Saturday - Hockey at 9:15 to 10:30, Drama Class for daughter at 11:15 to 12:45 ( again I can walk the lake - depending on the weather)
Sunday - I would love to do the spin class at the gym but my daughter has swimming lessons from 11:00-11:30 and I really need to get back to Church. My kids go to a Catholic School!

Ok, so I have it written down and helps me to get organized ( i love lists)

So my workout days...

Tuesday, Thursday, Sat and maybe Sunday! You saw it all here ladies! HOLD ME TO IT!
This will get me into the 170's and one step closer to my designer jeans! I could go for another fill but I really want to be able to lose with my current restriction which is my Green ZONE!

Hope you are all having a blessed Monday!

Weekend was crazy busy...I just got caught up on the blogs!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Thank you...

For all the encouraging and sweet comments on my last post!

At the end of the is all my hard work and sacrifice thats making me lose the weight and get my confidence back!

I think I get scared of "who might find out" and they can see right thru me! Crazy I know!
This world is a crazy one and there is craziness all over the damn place!

On a happier note, I finally bought my first size 14 pants at the GAP! 185lbs and a size 14! I have to say, they do have stretch in them and I look HOT! Yeah, I went there!

Skinny Cargos are the pants of the season...
Check them out! They have great slimming effects and the but looks FAB!

Monday, September 27, 2010

I feel like a FRAUD!

No one but my sisters and husband know about the band...
Now that I have lost over 40lbs, the compliments are just rolling in!

And the dreaded question..."what are you doing??"

Reply: "Working out 7 days a week and small portions!" Well 1 out of the 2 is correct! Small portions...Working out right now is more like 2-3 days a week!

I know my body is my body and I can do whatever I want but I feel wierd with my response! Call me crazy??

I think its time for a fill...I can finally eat somewhat more than a cup. Not looking forward to it! I know!

Hope everyone had a BOOBFULL weekend!

Friday, September 24, 2010

In Honour...

Of all the boobmasters out there, TOMORROW (Saturday) AT 5:00pm, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A DRINK or two or three!

Woohooo! TGIF!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

BOOBIES, Boobies...

A shout out to all the amazing peeps heading to CHEECAGO! Have a blast and drink a few for me!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Thousand Word Thursday!

What a great idea...

Looks like there is a theme going on!

My fave most precious is my engagement ring! It finally fits again and maybe just a smidge too big! Wooohooo!

Here's to a blessed weekend!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

It feels like Fall...

In Vancouver and I am kinda liking the cooler temps. Means I get to wear my boots again but this time when I wear my leggings, I LOOK HOT! Yeah, I said it!

I'll take it!

I keep going back and forth with my goal weight...I like seeing the numbers go down but honestly I am feeling pretty comfortable in my skin right now. I like my voluptuous curves and tattas!

I went shopping on Saturday to try on some designer jeans - no such luck! So I am thinking 15 more lbs which will take me to 170. But the main inspiration is the designer jeans...SO I am setting a new GOAL! It means my waist should be 30.5 and my hips 41 inches! A comfortable size 12 Here it is:

Cute eh?
I have never been able to wear a pair and would always see my friends buying and trying and looking fab! NOW ITS MY TURN LADIES! Move I come!

Life's been pretty hectic with back to school and getting into the groove. I just received a call from the school, informing me that my daughter forgot her uniform yesterday at school! ARRRRGGGGHHH! Luckily today was a non uniform day or else I would have lost it this morning!

Another crazy busy weekend ahead....sometimes I wish there were three days!

Hope you are all doing FABULOUS!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Stand Up!

To Cancer!

Check out the website at for the details to this evenings premiere!

Change the odds...get involved!

Here's to a safe and healthy weekend!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Million Dollar Question....

How to avoid the dreaded PB??

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Thank you....

To the two gorgeous ladies that made my day!


For giving me the lustrous and sessy award! YUP!
So made my day!

10 things I like....

1. Gelato
2. Real Housewives - all of them crazy and sassy women
3. My family
4. Chill time at 9pm
5. Chocolate
6. Cake
7. Shopping
8. My Iphone
9. My new hot body
10. Running

I am forwarding this award onto another 10 amazing peeps!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Its Raining, Its Pouring...

The Old man is SNORING! Is that it?
Its freakin crappy outside. Raining cats and dogs out there...

Its the long weekend and the kids start back to school tomorrow. My husband took the day off and will be taking the kids to school. ME - WORK!

I did get out for an hour today and went to the was PACKED! I did find a few things but refrained. HARD! Things look so much better on me. I did catch a glimpse of my backside in the mirror and IT WAS NOT PRETTY! Yuck...I need to get more excercise in and maybe buy some cellulite slimming cream or something.

Weekend was somewhat productive! Its officially September...ALREADY! The countdown will soon begin to our BLACK FRIDAY LADIES WEEKEND IN SEATTLE! Oh yeah!

Hope you are all having a skinny minny monday!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

A Total SLACKER....

Sorry but I have been sick with the flu and my online mobility was a ZERO! I can finally look at my computer and work. Brain still hurts a little but I will get thru it!

I guess the flip side is I DID IT! I made my August goal of 190lbs! I had to get on twice to believe it...

I still have the scale phobia...who knows how long it will take before I am 100% confident of what I see I will be happy with!

I am just so sick and tired of the past...getting on and being disappointed and ruining my day!

It also amuses me when people come up to me and tell me I look so good! I take it graciously and then think, damn what did I look like before or what did people think! I guess a 42lb loss does make a difference. I did notice it in my waist this morning but then I look at my legs and hips and I just slightly cringe...working on it!

I am counting the days for all you BOOBS gals. Please have a drink or few for me! Take lots of pics and hold on to the memories!

Friday, August 27, 2010


Not a very exciting title but that is what I am feeling today...

Its been a long excercise and no energy. I am supposed to be getting my (.) but nothing seems to be coming. I guess it wants to wait a little longer. I just don't like weighing when I know its coming. Always adds a few pounds! Crazy I know!

My daughter finishes her camp today and then my son starts a new one next week so there will be more driving around. I have spent so much money on fuel this summer...yes FUEL!

Tomorrow my sis, niece and baby girl are going shopping down south...WOOHOOO! Only to Bellingham but theres a TARGET and TRADER JOE's! Something we dont have here in Vancouver...

Sunday I need to start getting organized for back to school = YUCK! Lunches, homework and notices galore. So not looking forward to it!

Weight and health wise...I have my CT scan booked for Sunday, Sept 19 @ 7:30am! YES! Can you believe that...A Sunday! We have a 40th party the night before. The receptionist told me to drink lots and I asked her if Alcohol counts. She didn't really laugh! WHATEV!

Weigh in day is on Tuesday...190 is the goal!

Hope you are all having a fab day and here's looking to an amazing weekend!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Travelling sisterhood...

Hey Ladies,

I have 3 almost brand new Yummie Tummie Tanks that I love and cannot wear no longer...

They are a size 2x and fit an 18-20 HOT MAMMA!

One is a strappy tank in a peach/neutral and there are two black basic tanks.

Here is the website...

Let me know if you are interested and I will ship them out!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

6 Month Bandiversary...

And 40lbs down! Half way there....

I feel so much better. More energy and a clearer mind!

Would I do it again? HELL YA! I would never have lost 40lbs on my own.

I do miss taking big bites of burgers, hot dogs, etc. Definitely a learning curve but I love my new body more!

Weekend was a total blast! Two concerts and they ROCKED! We stood for over 5 hours on Saturday in the sun and it was an experience I will never forget! Beach Boys opened for Bryan Adams. I cried when he came out. Brought back a ton of memories...

The goal for August is 190. I am two pounds away...Drinking my water and will eventually get back into the excercise. It seems like all I do is drive the kids everywhere, clean the house and so much running around.

I have to thank each and everyone of you...I would not have come this far without all of your love and support!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Oh so close...

To 100 Followers! Just one more! ONE MORE!!!

What's been going on in NELLAWORLD??

Well lets see...
1. Busy driving my son to and from hockey camp
2. Working and trying to keep up with my social life
3. Crappy sick feeling all weekend...nothing has been staying down or in. Eating very little. Tightness could be due to stress and TOM.
4. Hives or Heat Rash...who the hell knows! Taking meds!
5. Going for blood tests tmr (just a normal procedure)
6. Heartburn and relieved by Zantac
7. Tightness (had to repeat - last fill May 6!)
8. Going to see Michael Buble on Friday night - what a dreamboat! He's performing live in his home town of BC!
9. Weekend gets better and better...Going to See Bryan Adams at the PNE (our local fair 100 year celebration and his home town as well - its gonna be crazy!!!!) and hoping to run into Michelle from She doesn't know what I look like but I know what she does! Should be good!
10. Last but not least..getting myhair cut and coloured tonight - AHH HELLO HOTNESS! Its been a few months and it needs some work!

Happy Hump Day to all you hotties!

Sunday, August 15, 2010


Let me start off by saying I had a fabulous vacation away in the Okanagan. Its absolutely perfect there and we always have such a great time. The only downfall was that we were all spread apart and in order for the kids to see their friends and cousins, they would have to ride their bikes down the street and it caused a little stress. Next year we need to plan a little more...

Happy to be back but in a slight funk!

Back to my post title...

We went out on Thursday night and my so called "best friend" was quiet - again! Not much conversation and I could not figure it out. This friendship takes a lot of work. I mean a lot and it seems like its all me. When we do get together, she is negative and I allow her to make her comments. Buuuut, I never make them back and I think she takes advantage of that. I have continued to stay friends and make more of an effort cause she is married to my husband's best friend and my childhood friend. Makes it more complicated! It seems like we have a better email friendship than a personal one. Does that make sense? They have a 2 year old son which I absolutely I am in a funk and a crossroads! Feels good to put it out there!

On to my liver...I have to go for another bloodtest to check my kidneys before I can even make the CT appointment. It still hurts after I eat and I honestly think its affecting my band and how much I can eat. Getting stuck a lot - had a few episodes while away and it totally sucks! It sucks that the sliders have no problems! Every meal, I get tense and don't know what to expect which causes me more grief!

Another slight issue...heartburn. Any suggestions???

I am slowly catching up on all the blogs! Sending happiness and love to you all!

Friday, August 13, 2010

I'm Baaaaaaaccckkkk!

And I missed u all!
Just a quick hello and happy Friday to all you lovies...

Thursday, August 5, 2010


What the hell is that you ask??

Well I looked it up to better understand what the hell the doctor was saying...

"A hemangioma of infancy (or haemangioma of infancy) is a benign self-involuting tumor of endothelial cells (the cells that line blood vessels). In most cases it appears during the first days or weeks of life and will have resolved at the latest by age 10. In infancy, it is the most common tumor."

So the good news is that it is not my gallstones but a benign tumor on my liver. It scared the shit out of me...I am now going for a CT scan to see it even closer but some people are saying not to and just wait for another ultrasound in 3 months! "There is more rays in a CT scan to harm you than whats in you" Does anyone know about this? I need some guidance! I almost wish it was my gallstones. Sometimes the pain is not tolerable!

The crappy part is that its been hurting all day long and then we went out for lunch, took two bites (lobster ravioli) and I was in the loo sending it right back up! Crap...I just threw up again. WTF????? It just goes to show that stress plays a huge part on our body! I AM HUNGRY!

I did get on the scale and was surprised to see 194! Maybe it was the bitch assing run I went for last night to clear my head!


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Summer Lovin...

Its been a really nice one so far!

Being 36lbs lighter from last year really helps with the heat and sweat!

I have been reading everyone's blogs and trying to comment. Its been a little crazy at work. They are putting air conditioning in! YEUP! Finally!

My mind has been in a slight funk and I don't know why! Driving me a little crazy! I have nothing to worry about or think about but the brain doesn't shut off. Sometimes I wish I knew how to turn it off.

The last weigh in was 196 and I need to get back on the scale before we leave for our Okanagan vacation. Oooohhh, 5 days beach and poolside with a drink or two in my hot hands! I wish I was there right now!

Had my ultrasound on Friday and the results are in (gallstone????) so I am off to the doctor at 6 for my follow up! Stay tuned...

Oh yeah, we went to Kits Beach on the weekend (rated number 3 in the world or north america...I can't remember!) well its only 15 minutes from our home! We had the best fish and chips. I took a picture with my Iphone. Not as good as I hoped. I will post! We also went downtown to the trade and convention center and I was able to get a picture of the Olympic TORCH! Very cool and what an amazing view!

Hope you are having a Wonderful Wednesday! Here's hoping to a Tootin Thursday!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

The Versatile Blogger Award

Thanks to Sam at

For nominating me the exclusive and very cool award! My first and I am completely honoured!!!

I am speechless...if you can believe it!

Seven things you don't know about me ~ Hmmmmm...

1. I have a crush on Zac Efron
2. I love watching Hannah Montana with my kids
3. I have a magazine addiction
4. I got kicked out of elementary school - grade 6 cause, "I played with the boys too much"! Beat that!
5. I love me my Entourage and a whole dose of the Real Housewives!
6. I am a PVR addict!
7. I love love Mexican Food!

If you got Tagged, then you are it and one I would like to nominate:

V at
Michelle at
Camille at
Jen at
Kim at
Alexis at

You are all so wonderful and have helped me during this amazing journey!
Hugs and Kisses!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Extra Extra...READ ALL ABOUT IT!

I just came across this article...

I had to share it with all of you...

I have been MIA lately. Its our annual audit at work and it has kept me crazy busy!
I'm almost caught up on the blogs and I feel so much more in tune with everyone.

Weigh in day is supposed to be Saturday but I got my period this morning and I feel FATTTTTTTTT! Yeaup, I said it. Kinda gross too! May have to weigh in on Sunday instead.

Sounds like you are all doing pretty good...some bumps along the road for some but all in all, we are a GOOD BUNCH! Keep on rockin hotties!

Monday, July 26, 2010

FAB Weekend!

It turned out to be a great one...
Friday was my niece's bday.

Saturday we cleaned and then we went out for dinner to a friends house.

Sunday we made a last minute decision and went to a beautiful place about 30 minutes from us called White Rock. It was so nice. I took a ton of pics and I have added some for your viewing pleasure! Another great reason to visit the beautiful province of BRITISH COLUMBIA!

Went home last night and got organized for the week! It was pretty sweet!

Here's to reaching 195 this week. Trying my damndest!

Friday, July 23, 2010

I'm losing....


I am so blessed to have a ton of it...but this morning I looked in the mirror and I noticed a patch...of SKIN! Yes, it freaked the shit out of me. What's worse is I am even having nightmares every freakin night about going bald!!!!!!!!!!

I know its expected but in the back of my brain I thought it wouldn't actually happen to ME! Craziness!

I remember after my two c-sections the hair came out but this is getting to be too much. I NEED SOME FEEDBACK...

My restriction has also loosened somewhat...Its been almost 3 months since my last fill and I was gonna wait until I got back from my vacation in August. See how it goes...

Yesterday this is what I ate...

Breakfast: 1 cup of fruit, yogurt and oats
Lunch: 1 cup of chicken salad
Snack: Mini Peanut Butter Cup (TOM)
Went for a run and then came home and had an iced latte
Dinner with friends...finally at 8 the food came - Piece of pecan crusted salmon, with mashies and asparagus. Ate it all! No appie size meal for me. Then had some cheesecake for dessert. Shared it and there was a lot left on plate!
No alcohol!

Yesterday I went to go weigh myself and the damn scales' batteries were done and it showed me 179 all the way to way JOSE! 10-20lbs in a week! I wish...well not really!

So then this morning I didn't do my usual loo routine and there is no way I get on without going to the loo first. Oh my gawd, I just realized how crazy I sound after I read what I just wrote! Definitely one of my many idiosyncrasies! Anyhoo...tomorrow morning will be weigh goal for July is 195...I CAN DO IT!

Hope you are all having a FAB FRIDAY and cheers to an amazing weekend!
God bless!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Just ate my DQ Hot Fudge Sunday...

And then I get this email from my friend...

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYMIf you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

TUESDAY:I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.

THURSDAY:Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me.Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.

FRIDAY:I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anaemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Late Night + Too Many Drinks + Very Little Sleep = FUNK

Yup, I went to bed in a funk and woke up with one...
Its taking every ounce of me to stay awake at my desk. I keep closing my eyes for a few moments and then I get rattled by the phone ringing! Only 1 more hour...I can do it.

Every time I close my eyes I keep thinking of CHOCOLATE so I came up with this...

Chocolate. There's something mystical and irresistible about chocolate. The word itself is sensual and romantic. The creamy, silky texture, the deep brown color, sweet flavor, the tantalizing aroma...the seductive characteristics of chocolate can arouse the senses and send one's pulse racing to new heights.

OMG...sounds like something else I know of!

I’ll admit it upfront. I’m a straight up, hard core chocoholic. If I let myself, or had it readily available all the time, I would eat chocolate everyday and I would do it for the rest of my life.

My 12-step Chocoholics program:


If you're like me... don't feel guilty, just enjoy!

Happy Manic MONDAY!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

definitely a Great night when you lose a HOT PINK BANGLE, go to bed with your MAKEUP and wake up with a slight but manageable HEADACHE!

Oh yeah we partied like it was 1988!!! 80's style!
My husband and all of his highschool buddies turn 40 this year and this was bday number 2! There are definitely more to come...

I was a little nervous all day...didn't know what to expect and would I have a meltdown when I went to put my new dress on!

Took my time, pulled up my hair in a pony with a NEON pink hair tie, did my 80's make-up, put my NEON bangles and earrings on. Applied light tanning cream to my body, put on my SPANKS and then it was time...Dress first and then my wedge heels - oh my did I feel sessy!!!

I did not overfuss like I normally would. Looked in the mirror a few times, applied my GLOSS and bam I was done. Then I patiently waited for my husband. Oh yeah, HAIL TO THE BAND!

I did receive a lot of compliments and one was the weight loss in my face. I go back to some pics from 6 months ago and my face was round and looked freakin swollen!

Had a fab dinner - creamy lasagna and a piece of rib. Put two pieces of brocccoli on my plate for good looks! Dam the lasagna was so good, I went for a second piece! My appetite is back and I can definitely eat more depending on what time of the day it is. I had a great day yesterday and even went for an hour run so I did not feel so bad. Ooooh, I'd kill for another piece of that lasagna today!

We partied and danced all night and came home to no kids - it was FAB!! Got a ton of compliments from my gorgeous husband...its been a long time since he has seen me in a DRESS!

Well I guess I'd better go and remove the mascara before I freak out the kids...having my cappucino and chillin on a beautiful morn in Vancouver!!

Hail to the BAND and all you hotties!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Feel Good Thursday...

Wish it was Friday but I am off early today so I have something to look forward to!

Just call me the freaking MOM BUS DRIVER! The kids are out of school and I am driving all over town to get them to camps and activities. I am just drained by the time I get home...

I did go for my walk last night and I felt so much better. It cleanses the brain and I get alone time. Pretty sweet.

I had nothing exciting to post but then I read Amy's blog and she totally inspired me and helped clear my brain! I am always thinking the what if's and what abouts but then I read this line and it made me feel so much better! She is 18 months in and over a 100lbs lost - you can't beat it!

"Gone is my fear that I will fail....that this won't work for me. Gone is the feeling that this is another "diet". This is my life now. And that is a good feeling."

So coolios to all you wonderful peeps that write the most inspirational posts that are so informative and eloquently! Well said...

Monday, July 12, 2010

Straws...PART 2!

Ok, I just copied this from the site...

"It’s recommended to not use a straw when drinking beverages. Straws introduce
increased amounts of air into the stomach and can cause gas which can be
uncomfortable and painful. People tend to take bigger drinks with straws and drink
liquids faster which could also result in more fluid then the stomach can hold"

And when I do use one, I can feel the pressure/gas for SURE!

Just another manic MONDAY!

Man I could have stayed home today and done absolutely NADDA!
First time in a long time...
I had a semi good but unproductive day yesterday and it drives me a little crazy.

I did wake up and go for my run in the sun...sooo much better to get it over with in the morning and then be able to chill the rest of the day! And that I did. Washed a couple of loads of laundry and then sat out in the sun all my book, did some surfing and then thats it!

I sometimes forget how to relax and I need to train myself to just chill and stop feeling guilty about it. Hard to turn the brain off!

I weighed in at 198 and feeling goooooood!
My sister thinks I look like I weigh way less. Sorry not the deal.

I did create a new bevvie...oh yeah - chocolate, coffee and bailey's milkshake! GOES DOWN SMOOOOOOOOOTH! I could have one for breakfast lunch and dinner!

Oh yeah, remind me about the whole STRAWS issue??????????? Hard to drink without one but I know there is major reasoning behind it!

Kids are in camps this week, need to have my ultrasound for the pain on my right side, dentist and a 40th bday party - 80's style! So its definitely gonna be a crazy one!

Hope you are all having a beautiful start of the week!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

What's Better Than A Fill???

Oh yeah, you heard right....


My last fill was on May 6th and right now I am feeling more tightness than ever. Finally hitting 30 degree temps in the beautiful city of VANCOUVER!

Let's not forget the whole IKEA fiasco...(as per Jack Shit - the toilet is where its AT! Next time!)

Last night I had two bites of my slider and holy tightness mamma - I had to bring it back up. Sounds gross eh?

Weigh in was this morning but the rush to get the kids out...didn't happen! Will attempt again tmr morning!

Ok, I have to tell you all about my acupuncture story from yesterday...

I went to acupuncture yesterday (straight out of a Seinfeld episode) and she asked me what kind of food I liked..I said Italian…OOOOH, big tummy – oily food – then she looked at my butt cause of my sciatica and she thought my big ass shelf was swollen…UMMM no, it’s just my ASS! I was there for over an hour and a half. Massage, needles, pressure and cupping…READY? $55 dollars! My mouth dropped! AHHH, you cummm back??? HELL YA! I just kept asking myself what she would have thought of me over 30lbs ago...


Sunday, July 4, 2010

I've Fallen In Love...

With my NEW BODY!

I can't stop looking in the mirror and who knew I would love my bones sticking out in places I can't remember even existed!

I just about passed out this morning...trying on my size 32 Juicy Skirt! IT FIT! I never thought this new life would exist for me. I was so obsessed with the way I looked...and I hated myself for it! I lost control of ME! Now I am back and back in full force baby!

I keep saying I wish I had done it sooner but sooner we were not financially stable and we would not have been able to afford it. It would have been so much more stressfull...trying to lose weight and figuring out a way to pay for it!

I get scared sometimes like something will happen to the band and it will have to be removed but I have to remind myself that everything is going to be ok. Its like its too good to be TRUE! IS IT? Can I be happy, skinny and feel good about myself? My mom is a major worry wort and I have inherited this trait! I know, LUCKY ME!

I have two confessions....

1. I was at Ikea the other day, had two bites of those damn hotdogs that are so good and CHEAP and I felt the tightness....ready? I was with my daughter, could not make it to the loo and I had to vomit in one of the display kitchen sinks! CAN ANYONE BEAT THAT?? You should have seen my daughter's face...luckily she is only 6 and hopefully forgot about it pretty fast! To make matters worse a family was coming by to see the kitchen and I had to quickly cover it up! Who said this was the easy way out???

2. A few years back, we had very little money and I was attempting another magic weight loss system - LA Weightloss...Anyone hear about this? Well I had to pay a ton of money up front and I didn't have I pawned my gorgeous gold necklace and bracelet that my mil gave me for my engagement. I think about it all the time and it hurts me. Needless to say I could never wear it cause it was too tight around my FAT neck but now it would look gorgeous! It hurts my feelings when I think about it. I have not told anyone and I know all you beautiful people will understand my pain.

I do feel better....

Happy 4th of July to all you sessy ladies and gents south of the BORDER!

My ONEDERLAND goal gift you ask?

Here it is...In a SIZE medium which is equivalent to a 6-8 - which I will be sporting in Mexico next Spring - SKINNY BITCH STARDOM here I COME!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010


I didn't know whether to cry, scream or smile! I did all three!


I am so proud of myself. 3lbs in less than a week and I did it baby!

If you are just starting out and reading this, you WILL DO IT and you WILL GET THERE! TRUST ME! Its just like getting a new car...takes a bit before you get into the groove and figure the felion out!

I would never have thought this 4 months ago!

4 months, 33 lbs and 71 followers - wow, who knew my life would be like this? I keep saying it over and over...without all of your support, I honestly would not have been able to do this!

I keep thinking in my head where I wanna go my goal weight. I was around 130 when I got married (13years ago) and yeah I looked great but I think it may be too skinny. Oh my did I say that? I even said a size 12 designer would be my goal. My 14 Juicy's are a little lose and I am loving it! So I am thinking 150lbs! Don't even know what I would look like. Its been so DAMN long!

My next goal...5lbs per month and to be 185 by the end of September!

4 months ago I would say to myself that its not realistic - well SHUT the F up baby...cause 180's here I COME!

Hugs and Kisses to a beautiful Wednesday...the sun is shining and my smile is so addicting!

Thursday, June 24, 2010


4 Months and 30lbs! I got on the scale today without realizing that it was my bandiversary! 202lbs! Only 3 away from my goal of ONEDERLAND!

I was so scared to get on it...its just something that is programmed into my head...fear of the damn and dreaded scale! I am working my best trying to conquer that fear! WORKING...

My goal was to get to ONEDERLAND before the end of June...I offically have 1 week and I KNOW I CAN DO IT!

Damn skinnyness feels soooo good. I could just imagine what a skinny bitch feels day!

I am officially wearing my Juicy with pride and my head held up HIGH!

I look into the mirror as I walk by everyday about 5-10 times. I have a big ass one floor one in my living room. Somedays I see the thinner me and somedays I don't. I have to remind myself how well I have done - 30lbs in 4 months - never would have happened on my own!

I still have not told my mom or mother in law...only people that know are my sisters and husband. I am so afraid cause I don't want people thinking I took the easy way out and this is definitely NO EASY WAY OUT! I dream about diving into a pizza or burger or better yet a big ass smokie...not happening! Some days it is so hard for me to register. Definitely a work in progress thing again. Man, I have a lot of WORK to do! Brain work that is!

Getting my pedi done this weekend and my babe and I are going out for dinner to celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary!

Oh yeah, my son is going on his first road trip...heading to Whistler with a friend for a hockey tourney. Slightly nervous...stay TUNED!

I could not have done this journey without all you amazing peeps! Have a beautiful Thursday!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Does Anyone...

Get a pain on their left side after they eat??????

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Still Recovering...

From Vacation. Only a 3 hour time change but I may need a week or so to adjust back! I am tired!

So I got on the scale this morning...of course SCARED! I got on and bam 203! Down a couple of pounds! I was hoping for ONEDERLAND! I need to get back into the excercise regimen! We did a lot of walking but I need to start SWEATING! Kinda craving it. Crazy eh?
I was so worried about getting stuck or having any issues while away...I was lucky enough to get thru the 10 days with only one little glitch. Eating POUTINE at a burger joint in Montreal! I was craving it, hungry and bam. The poor waiter kept asking me if I wanted another meal since I was not eating what was in front of me. No pb'ing or sliming or anything. Just felt tight and had to pace myself.

Our family from Montreal and Toronto said we eat like chickens! Too funny! All the food was so delicious!

Here are some photos...
Downtown Toronto
Downtown Montreal

Gretzky's Winery

Monday, June 14, 2010

I'm back....

And missed each and everyone of you! I had no internet access so I couldn't even catch up! Mama's got a lot of reading to do.

Stay tuned for pictures and a POST!


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Vacation Babyy!

Officially starts in 15 minutes!
10 days of no morning crap (getting the kids dressed and out of the house), no laundry, no cleaning up after everyone and no tidying up like a crazy woman!

Yuppers...10 days!

5 days will be spent in Toronto (my son has a hockey tournament) and 5 days will be spent in Montreal! All of my mother in law's family is in Toronto and we have so much fun whenever we visit.

She has never been to Montreal and I am excited to be taking her! She turns 75 this year!

Can't forget the box, I mean big ass box of cookies she has made to ship as luggage! She called me in a panic..."how many bags can we check in?" Priceless!

Don't know how or where I will find a computer...hopefully I will be able to connect somewhere! I will miss all of your daily posts!


Monday, May 31, 2010

Happy Memorial Day

To all my peeps south of the border!

Saturday, May 29, 2010


Ok, how do I eat a piece of probs and then a couple of hours later I try and take a bite of sushi and then bam it goes downhill from there right into the toilet! Yup...happened last night and tonight. Had a bit of rice and was a way no go!! Had to throw up to relieve the pressure.

Doesn't help that I am eating out both times with friends that have no clue that I have had the surgery. I get stressed just thinking about it. I know its only 3 months in and my body will eventually adjust but it seems like every meal is a test. What works and what doesn't! WHO knew I could easily throw up!! Oh my!! I also dont want to be hurting/damaging my esophogas or anything.

Looks like rice and pasta are OUT! But hold on...I had some pork dumplings last night and no probs! WTF?? Who said this was easy??

This is what I ate:

Tall Vanilla Latte and a biscotti
Junior Chicken Burgen (took about half an hour to eat)
Piece of Ham and Pineapple Pizza
Some Veggies and Dip
Chocolate cupcake
Chocolate eclair

Wow, not a great food day at all!

Could I be too tight or is the stress making me tighter??

Friday, May 28, 2010


Tonights the night...Sex In the City! 16 of us going. Ressies are for a modern and hip asian fare restaurant in Vancouver's trendiest neighbourhoods - Yaletown! And then off to see at 10:45! Sold out...

Hope everyone gets to go out and enjoy themselves this weekend!
My sweet hubby is in Vegas...miss him terribly. 2 More sleeps...2 more sleeps!


1. If you could be a flower, which one would it be and why?

Peonies...gorgeous and absolutely breathtaking...UMMM just like me!

2. Which Sex and The City Character do you most relate to?

Definitely Carrie!
A little Mr.Big and the best walk in closet in the world never hurts!

3. If you had a crystal ball or could know one thing about the future - what would it be?

My kids and husband and I are healthy and happy till we are in our 90's!

4. What's your biggest fear in your weight loss journey?

It will make me sick or it will have to be taken out!

5. Whose blog or comment spoke to you the most this week and why?

Sandy Lee and her love life!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I need some help...

The last two days i have thrown up. Ate pasta both times...
It comes up so easy...
Not myself health wise and a little stressed! Feeling a little under the weather - headache and stomach aches!
Any suggestions??

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Who said this was the EASY way???

Today has been a horrible day for me. Gas pains galore, stomach irritability and then bam, I just threw up again. Don't know what the hell is going on but today is not a good one.

Sometimes it is just so damn frustrating, I wanna scream!

Sucks cause yesterday I was celebrating 25lbs gone and today I am upset! All the crazy ups and downs of bandland!

I have a headache now...gonna go lay down!

Thursday, May 20, 2010


That's right ladies and gentlemen...25lbs as of today and my 3 month bandiversary! I cannot remember the last time I felt this great and so damn comfortable in my own skin!

So what has happened in the last 3 months...started my two week pre-op on Feb 10th, had surgery on the 24th and asked myself what the hell did I get myself into...did not want to deal with the pain. Low and behold I survived! I have not looked back since! Slow and steady weightloss.

First fill April 6th - again scared shitless and of course not required - again I survived! Lost some more poundage...slow and steady. Then I did the 30 challenge - 30 days, 30 minutes of excercise a day - whipped my ass in shape! Hell ya!

Second Fill May 5th to 6cc's and its been lovely ever since...actually I lied - control wise, very good but had a few pb episodes and left chest shoulder pain - again I survived. Feels like my sweet spot but I know I will want a fill down the road. Will wait it out. I need to remind myself that this is NOT a game and more of a whole lifestyle change...slow and steady! Just the way momma likes it...if you know what I mean!

Ooops I forgot...during all this transformation, there has been a lot of tooting and more tooting and more tooting! Nice eh! My GAS-X is my friend. Who would have known. I definitely miss my s shaped bowel movements. Doesn't get any better than that!

Excercise has been ok...not overly aggressive but back with the trainer and she is gonna kick my ass. I am scared as I type this! How can a skinny little bitch be so damn powerful????

Its Victoria Day weekend here in beautiful British Columbia and of course Canada! Sandy from gave the best history/backup - MAY 2-4! Hell ya, its when the patio furniture, bbq's, food and alcohol come out of the closets and we are officially in Spring and getting ready for a HOT and SUNNY summer! But of course we are at the rink today...the finals for the hockey tourney. So proud of my son...he is rocking it! They WON gold!! Yey!! We are heading to Toronto next week for the Ronald McDonald Tournament. Its gonna be a blast!

Again a shout out to all of you...56 followers and you are all so special. I could not do this without you. You have been a blessing! Have a fantabulous day and enjoy the SUN!

Monday, May 17, 2010

T minus 10 days...

Sex in the City 2! Oh yeah...let's get this party started!
There are 10 of us going...dinner and a HOT MOVIE!
Of course somewhere sleek and hip!

Sunday, May 16, 2010


The only Canadian team left in the playoffs...yeah on the East Coast but we are still ro oting for them! We are also heading to Toronto and Montreal in a few weeks so hoping the playoffs are still ON! Happy Sunday all your GORGEOUS HOTTIES!

Friday, May 14, 2010


My mind is so focused on this weight loss and taking care of myself that my drive has no more power! CAPUT! GONE! NADDA! BYE BYE!

36 years old and damn I am supposed to be in my PRIME! Like a nice juicy tender piece of prime rib baby! NOPE!

What the hell?

I am just exhausted and when I get to bed, I am OUT! I guess they are just excuses and I should attempt to make an effort.

The last few times after we have done the DEED, my port hurt! Yes, MY PORT! I know I can be creative (get your heads out of the gutter) but sometimes...just not in the MOOD!

Is there VIAGRA for women???? Will it hurt my heart???


Thursday, May 13, 2010



I went with the skinny chearleader as my pic of the day! Thought it would be appropriate!

You have all been a blessing in my life and if it weren't for blogland, I would have been LOST!

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Oh my gawd...

What's my new addiction with SHOPPING! Hello???

I am finding deals online like MAD and I get all excited about getting the package and then trying it on!

I think I need help...instead of being obsessed about food 24/7, I am turning to SHOPPING! Ah hello credit cards and craziness! I have always loved to shop but now with the better bod, things fit...designer WEAR! PRICEY designer WEAR$$$$$$$$$$$ I am afraid my CC might BLOW UP!

How do I stop? Gen, any suggestions?? I remember you and the bras and VS, Jcrew and Athleta!

Is there a book on this??

Do I not deserve the new clothes? I have been wearing crappy PLUS SIZE - non designer wear for years and always dreamed of fitting into "regular" clothes! I am even buying soon sizes and clothes I can take in when!

Someone PLEASE justify this for me or tell me STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My heart and condolences...

Goes out to Jacquie (cant wait to lose it with the band) and her family on their devestating loss!


I have been with my babe for over 22 years...yeah we started young! I was 13 and he 17! It was on and off during high school and then it got serious again at around 21 and then at 23 we got married. He was still a little older than me but I was definitely the more "mature" one. He is my best friend and always knows how to make me laugh.

What I struggle with is his selfishness! Damn! Why? I know a lot of guys are but his is painful! What brings this up you say? Well my sister has asked me to go to San Diego with her in July for a few days and I have been arguing with him cause he thinks I shouldn't go. He says we should go as a family. Uhh, do do brain...a lot more affordable for one of us to go rather than a family of 4! We are already booked for Toronto and Montreal (don't get too excited...a hockey tournament and visiting with family - not an ounce of chilling!) in a few weeks but hold on, he goes to VEGAS at the end of May!

YEUP! All 4 of his buddies and I helped him book everything. PISS OFF! So wrong. Its so easy for him to go and enjoy himself but when it comes to me, its always questionable! So not fair. I only ask for a few days away chillin by the pool. Oh yeah, he is not a pool sitter - more like a cat - afraid of the damn water! And when we go on family vacays, we are always running around doing things and its extra special when all 4 (mil is always vacationing with us by the way - widowed and her dumb ass daughter never takes her anywhere!) are staring at me with what's next! Yes, all the pressure is on me to plan and make sure everyone is "good"! I never get to just chill! He doesn't do any of the planning and then complains when we do things that I like! WHATEVER! My mom wants us to go to Puerta Vallarta at Spring Break next year...they are paying for accomodations and he is already complaing! WTF? Done! TIRED of his BS!

Sorry I am rambling...trying to get the whole history in!

We even attempt to go to the Okanagan in the summer for a few days. I really like it, a ton of friends for us and the kids and we all have a blast. You lounge by the pool, drinks, walk and just chill. Guess what, he doesn't want to go back. I am not arguing with him anymore. He has now brainwashed my son as well and I gotta hear it from him. I am gonna finally be stubborn on this one and not go this year. He can maybe feel bad for a minute or so! WHo knows, maybe I am just wasting my time and it won't even phase him!

So back to San Diego...looks like I am not going. I don't have the energy to fight him anymore. I guess the saying is true..."gotta pick your battles"!

Wow, it definitely feels so good to put it out there. You are all a blessing in my life. Someone to listen and talk to!

Ladies and gents, life is hard but we can do it! We are lucky to be breathe! DETERMINED!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Gas, more gas and a whole lot of TOOTIN!

What's the deal??
6cc's in a 10cc band, had my fill last week and I have been tooting non stop!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Does Anyone...

Get the pain in their left shoulder/side??

Friday, May 7, 2010

Slightly irritating...

Ok, love Bertinelli but come on...she is driving me insane with her Jenny Craig ads! Now she has added Sara Rue to the mix...and don't forget George Costanza from Seinfeld - what's his name!

Yeah, I know she has done it the conventional way but who in the world can live off that food??? I tried it and lasted 5 days!!! Enough with the ads already!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

She's EASY!!!!

Its been a long time since I have heard those words...ACTUALLY I have never heard them till NOW! Yes, I went for my second fill today and it was wham bham thank you mam!! The doctor said I was easy. The nurse and I had a laugh cause it took me all this time and money to finally be EASY! So he went in and said there were actually 5cc's but the last time I was there, he confirmed 4cc's. WTH did the 1 cc come from?? So now he put me up to 6cc's.

I've been afraid to eat any solids just in case! Its been liquids. Had a yummy strawberry banana vivanno smoothie from Starbucks and then I made a delish corn chowder. Filled it with everything. red peppers, corn, bacon, potatoes, onion and cod. I had a bowl full but still felt hungry so for dessert I had an ice cream cone. Went down with no problems. Will see how the morning goes when I am usually tighter. Tomorrow night is dinner at my MIL's and her food isn't as band friendly and of course I haven't told her!

Its finally beautiful in I go to enjoy some time with my kiddies.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

2nd Fill...

Tomorrow and mamma's got a tummy bug!!
I have 4 cc's...planning to go to 5! Too much???

Monday, May 3, 2010

Never fails...

Just when I am on a mission of health and fitness...BAM! I get sick. Yuppers. Sore throat, chills and dizzyness. Today I am down...and now off to bed. Just wanted to wish everyone a happy Monday!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Lazy Sunday..

Its 12:06pm on Sunday and I have absolutely no motivation to even brush my teeth! Yup! I just want it to be a lazy day...The last week has been so hectic, crazy and stressfull and I just wanna CHILL (i forgot how to do this)! I can only do it for so long...

Two Communions today. I have to go pick up the cake, get the fam organized, do my grocery shopping, get the school/work week ready, fold clothes and oh yeah, do day 23 of my 30 day challenge. Don't know how the hell its gonna happen but it wil!!! I need a STARBUCKS! My green tea isn't cutting it. Hoping my sweet husband brings me one home!!l

We had my work retirement dinner last night and it was so nice to hear all the lovely and sweet compliments..A. on a successful evening, B. on my weight loss and C. on how I have been doing a great job at work. I had to admit that going to work for me is not work...its hanging with the guys! They make me laugh and at times can be crazy! I pray to God all the time and just thank him for giving me this opportunity!!
I even got to wear my new HEELS!! Yup. I decided that my limit is 5 hours and THATS it! Anything more and my body goes into shock! Check em out...

Friday, April 30, 2010

BYOC...My first!

1.What’s your favorite smell?

Ummm, hello...BACON!

2. What is your all-time favorite movie and why?

Easy peasy my friends... DIRTY DANCING! I loved Patrick Swayze in that movie (it also hit me hard when he passed!). I cry each time and could easily watch it a million times! We do an annual fav things at Christmas with 10 friends and this past year...I gave each girl a DVD of Dirty Dancing! Coincidently it was a 25 year anniversary edition! Oh yeah, did I tell you that I LOVE TO DANCE!!!

3. What’s your trigger food?

Ahhhhh, hello... BACON AND CHOCOLATE! I could bathe in it!

4. When someone you love is going through a difficult time – what are your go-to words to make them feel better – in just a sentence or two?

I just let them know that I am here for them and please, if there is anything I can do to help, please feel free to ask!

5. This one is always the same. Who is your nominee for the blog of the week for YOU? Which blog OR comment touched your heart, spoke to you, stuck with you all week?

I would have to say Gen's SOB...and Judi's Stories from the Road! Very inspiring especially for the newbies!

Woke up in A FUNK!

Damn to I hate when that happens. The stress from yesterday gave me a stomach ache and I could not sleep and it took every damn ounce of me to get out of bed and workout! Oh my! I only did 25 of the 30. I had to shower and get the kids to school. Better than nothing! I so hoped it would clear my head - NO GO!

Will be on the phone today getting a little LOUD! Just back away. This needs to be taken care of PRONTO!

Thanks for all the supportive comments...they really do help. Sometimes its hard to talk about shit like and ya'll make it so much easier!

Ok, clearing my head, gonna go drink my green tea and defunk!

Have a fab weekend all you sessy HOTTIES!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Please please tell me I AM NOT CRAZY!!

I was having a great day...all your support and love is contagious!
I get home and open the mail...this is where it STARTS!
I get a letter from our insurance carrier for our critical illness mortgage insurance and they have declined my coverage!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET THIS...they list the reason because of my...READY???

WEIGHT AND HEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gawd, my mouth dropped and my heart sunk all the way to my stomach! WTF??? This can't be! I am willing to pay that extra amount for the coverage and they are declining me. ME! 36, healthy, ecg was perfect...non smoker. WEIGHT AND HEIGHT! WEIGHT AND HEIGHT! Did I mention that?

Crazy cause we had to renew our mortgage due to the rates and we were already accepted on the crititical illness coverage on the first time but there was confusion with applications, so they made a REP call me. I completed the questionairre and I had to tell them about my lapband!

I was and am healthy with a slight weight issue! I was 232lbs and 5 foot 3!! I am now 211lbs! Doesn't that count for anything? I even self paid for my surgery!!!!

Can anyone explain this shit to me?
I just lost it and it ruined my evening and lost any motivation in me!!

I need the strength to dust off my pain and get back up!!! HELP!! Please tell me I am not crazy!!! PLEASE!


Amazing Followers - you are all precious to me in this ever changing Journey! I couldn't do it without you!


I have read so many blogs and so many have said that they are NOT on a diet and it is a new way of life for them...I feel like I am on a CONSTANT DIET! Watching what I eat, no sweets, excercise and damn hard work just to lose a couple of pounds a week and this week - NADDA! I have lost 6lbs since my last fill. I guess I am like the others...I wish it would come off quicker! Why do we do this to ourselves??? WHY?

I should be proud and happy cause I made one of my goals - a size 16 pant! Now I just want that damn ONEDERLAND! What will it take to get there?? WHAT? I go for my second fill on Wednesday! Should I go to 5ccs or 4.5ccs? I am currently at 4ccs.

By the way, I have my husband announce that he has lost even more weight...down to 211! My gawd, I weigh the same as him and of course too afraid to let him know! At the gym once or twice a week and eating less! I have been excercising every damn day on this CHALLENGE! Day 20 by the way!

Wow, does that make me feel better or what!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Control Top Sessy Panties!!!

Do they exist?

If so, I need to know! Mine look like the ones above...just like grannies!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

This JUST In....DUH!

Chocolate a Sweet Pick-Me-Up for the Depressed
Consumption rises alongside levels of depression, study finds
By Steven ReinbergHealthDay Reporter

MONDAY, April 26 (HealthDay News) -- Could the depressed be "self-medicating" with chocolate? A new study finds that people battling depression reach for more of the sweet treat than non-depressed folks do.

Many people believe that "when they are feeling a little bit down, chocolate makes them feel better," said lead researcher Dr. Beatrice A. Golomb, an associate professor in the department of family and preventive medicine at the University of California, San Diego.

Chocolate does appear to be popular among people with depression, whether or not they are being treated with antidepressants, the research team found. "A lot of us may have been able to predict this finding," Golomb said.

For the study, published in the April 26 issue of the Archives of Internal Medicine, the UCSD team looked at the relationship between chocolate and mood in 931 women and men who were not taking antidepressants.

The participants were asked how much chocolate they ate, and their level of depression was measured on a standard depression scale.

People diagnosed as depressed ate an average of 8.4 servings of chocolate each month compared with 5.4 servings among people who were not depressed, the researchers found.
The most depressed ate the most chocolate -- around 11.8 servings a month, the team discovered.

These findings were the same for men and women.

When the researchers looked at people who were taking medication for depression, they found these people ate chocolate at the same rate as those with untreated depression, according to Golomb. No difference was noted regarding consumption of other foods, such as fish, coffee, caffeine or fruits and vegetables, between the depressed and non-depressed people, the researchers found. The difference seemed to be isolated to chocolate, they said.
Chocolate -- particularly dark chocolate -- has been linked in other research to improved cardiovascular health and longevity, possibly because of its antioxidant properties, Golomb noted.

The link with depression could have several explanations. Because it is thought to improve mood, it could be a form of "self-medication," Golomb noted.

On the other hand, chocolate might contribute to depression, or the link could be a complex combination of as yet unknown physiological effects, the researchers said. Future studies are needed to further explore the association, they said.

Experts voiced different reactions to the findings.
"The nature of 'emotional eating' or 'comfort foods' is complex," said Dr. Gregory Simon, a psychiatrist and mental health researcher at the Group Health Research Institute in Seattle.
"When people feel depressed or distressed, they may prefer certain foods because of their nutritional content, such as more fat or refined sugar, or their emotional meaning, because some foods are seen as a treat or a consolation, or their practical qualities, since some foods take less motivation or energy to prepare or consume," Simon said.

Another expert, Dr. Lorrin Koran, professor emeritus of psychiatry and behavioral science, at Stanford University School of Medicine, noted that "chocolate has many advantages over other possible pleasures."

It is available, cheap, does not lose its pleasure-inducing quality with repeated use, does not require relating to other people and is culturally approved as a source of legitimate pleasure, he said.

"I strongly doubt that chocolate either induces depression or interferes with recovery from depression," Koran said. "If either idea were true, this would long ago have become obvious given the ubiquitous use of the substance over the last 500 years."

Monday, April 26, 2010

From a Terrible day...

To an enlightening one! I ordered a pair of Michael Kors pants in a size 16, I came home and there they were. I stared at them for a few minutes and debated the try on. Finally I said, screw it. Tried them on and they fit like a glove!! Finally one goal accomplished... A SIZE 16!!! Woohhooooo!!

The 30 day challenge is definitely working with the band! Feeling a little more hungry at meals but restraining cause I wanna wanna get to ONEDERLAND! That's my next goal!!!!

We went out for dinner on Saturday and boy was it so much easier to just "get dressed"! Not crazy fat episodes!!! Not my fav word but that is what I have felt in the past!

Off to kick the elliptical's ASS with a perma SMILE!!

Foul Foul

Mood! Yup...I went to bed in one and woke up in one! Damn, I hate feeling like this. Too much going on in my brain and it is starting to hurt! How can you go from a happy happy place to a foul mood so damn fast!

To top it off, my daughter who is 6 decides to tell me that the she sits alone and the girls don't want to play with her! WTF??WHY??? It just set me off. I know she is only 6 but I don't want for her to have to deal with this. I know its just the beginning and I can only protect her so much but WHY? Why when I am in a foul mood to begin with! WHY?

I told her to go play with the other girls and boys...I always wanted a baby girl and when I got her, I was blown away cause she is my little angel but I am scared out of my pants to deal with this stuff. What if I say the wrong thing?

Kids can be so mean! I was bugged in elementary and high school cause I had a larger than life european nose...and they made fun of me. It was horrible and I will never forget it. By the way, the nose is now proportioned oh so well on my beautiful face! Screw those jacks!

I can't say highschool was the best years of my life. I came from public and went to private. Everyone already had their clicky groups and it took all of my energy to get friends. I was always way more advanced and I had my boyfriend (husband) early. He was a few years older than me and I hung out at his school more than my own (just easier)! Needless to say I skipped out a lot cause I just didn't want to be there! I prevailed, graduated and have an amazing job!

Jeez, I feel like I am all over the place this morning...just typing is helping!

I knew if I put it out there, all you amazing people will help me get thru husband tells me not to worry about it! He didn't go thru what I went thru!

Happy Days!