Friday, December 31, 2010
I am down around 65lbs and for the first time in so many years, I do not have to go on one of those dreadfull diets advertised on the telly!!! Now I watch them and think in my head, will those people succeed? Will they keep the weight off? Always in the back of my head, I think this is not a for sure thing and sometimes I just need to be bitch slapped! Why cant I take it and enjoy the ride?? WHY?
My only resolution for 2011...SPEND LESS! Yeup, its my only one and oh so hard to do at times! With two kids and living in one of the most expensive cities in the world, it gets TOUGH! Gas is at $1.22 per litre. Yes you heard right. I sometimes go across the border to fill up and that is about $30 dollars less per fill. Craziness is what it is. Between school tuition, hockey fees, sports fees, drum fees, music fees, mortgage, utilities...it goes on and on! What's crazy is we can finally enjoy our income somewhat but I think the daily costs are adding up!
Catch 22 - i can finally go into the store at the mall and find clothes off the rack...but I WANT THEM ALL! I love how everything fits so nicely and my BODY IS BACK! Im enjoying it right now cause dammit, I freakin worked hard for this and earned every bit of it!! I guess its one of the sideffects of losing all this weight! Wonder if they would advertise this on the lapband sites! heheheh!
Still dealing with some pain issues when I eat (ulcer?) and I am always worried but what else is new! Taking it one day at a time! My mom thinks I am starving myself! Right! I just dont like eating in front of people!
I have been reading all of your amazing blogs and I am so thankful to have met you all...one day face to face!
2011 is going to ROCK!!!
Friday, December 17, 2010
The craziness gets crazier and crazier every year!
The kids are so excited...
Feeling a ton better! Taking it one day at a time!
The one pro about the band...not leaving your guests house feeling stuffed as a PIG! Especially during the holiday season! WOOOHOO!
Weigh in day is tomorrow and Barium test is on Wednesday!
Hope you are all having a blessed week!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The signs and symptoms of a gastric ulcer are almost opposite to the signs and symptoms of duodenal ulcers - the main differences are noticed in the timing and severity of the pain.
· Gastric ulcers generally cause a dull aching pain, often right after eating.
· Making a meal can often cause an increase in pain
· Eating will not relieve pain as is the case with other types of ulcers
· Indigestion and heartburn, or acid reflux
· Nagging pain in the upper abdomen area below your breastbone
· Episodes of nausea
· A noticeable loss of appetite
· Unplanned weight loss
· Another less common symptom of a gastric ulcer is that about 3 in every 10 people are woken up at night by dull ulcer pains – this usually happens 3- 4 hours after eating.
THIS IS ME!
Monday, November 29, 2010
We settled in and then attempted to get to bed around midnight! The last time I looked at the clock it was 1:15 and we were up at 4:45 AM to attempt the Macy's Black Friday shopping! Well, that was a waste of time! The sales were just not there! Slightly disappointed! Everything I bought was of course "regular price"
I picked up a few new pieces to add to my new wardrobe! I got my Joe's...size 32 - honey boot cut! Lookin good!
I was barely able to eat...due to the pain on my right side and I think I was just nervous to eat in front of 12 other women! They all gave their 5 cents worth and we all narrowed it down to an "ulcer" cause the pain is sudden after I eat. If it were in my liver, it would take longer to digest!
On the flip side, I only spent $60 in 3 days for food and beverages! CHEEEEEP!
So gonna go for my blood tests and then wait to see if anything abnormal comes back and then get back to the doc for additional tests! May have to do that barium thingy!
We finally got back last night around dinner time...no wait at the border - wooohoo and NO DUTY! Cant beat it!
Cant wait to go home and chill tonight....its gonna be a crazy week!
Hope you all had an amazing TURKEY GOBBLE GOBBLE DAY!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
I know! CRAZY EH?
He didnt take any fluid out or add any. He said my progress looks great and to just take it easy. If I feel crappy to go back and see him!
I was able to eat yesterday and last night I even had some chicken. Slowly and one bite at a time. The way I am supposed to eat with a band! I have the hemangioma which is a cyst on my liver...and the vomitting has inflamed it and caused me pain! Need to take it one day at a time.
He did give me meds for the nausea in case it is a bug or something and my family doc gave me a referral for blood work!
SO I do feel better and I am taking my time eating...keep you posted!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all of your support, it is so appreciated!
Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American PEEPS!
Let the shopping begin!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
She said its very rare for a slipped band and it could just be that I am tight. I told her that I have not had a fill since may and she said with my body changing and even the weather change, it can affect my band. Let's see...keep you all posted!
I am just not liking the nausea, vomitting, chest pain and constipation!
Hope you are all having a better day!
Monday, November 22, 2010
* pressure in my chest and throat
* have not eaten in a couple of days
* what I did eat, came right back out
* constant burping
* i was diagnosed with an hemangioma on my liver cause I used to get this pain and for the last three days it has been constant. every time i eat, i get pain, and then i vomit. i have had ultrasounds and a CT scan.
I have emailed the nurse at the clinic and I am now debating whether to go to the emergency or not.
I am feeling crappy and I need HELP!
Hope you are all doing well!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I am nervous already about how I will eat and how much people will be watching me.
Lately I have been so tight...dont know why! Finished my TOM. Last night I ate small pieces of meat and it didn't stay down very long! The burping lasted all freakin night! I couldn't even have my hot chocolate. I WAS STARVING!
I did this cause I wanted to be healthy inside and out. It seems I am living on sliders...when will I get there????? I know this band is finicky but come on already, I just wanna eat a decent meal without crazy ass burping and tightness! Will it be soups forever??????
I weighed in this morning and it read 180. Happy but not crazy happy...I know you know what I mean!
Hope you lovvies are all doing well...I may have some time to actually read some of your great blogs this afternoon...when the BOSS is away!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Starting weight: 232
(Stupid ASS BMI thingy still says OBESE! It can as famously said...SUCK BALLS!)
Its been a crazy few weeks...the party is done and my dad is feeling better! I totally got my husband...had no clue! Mission ACCOMPLISHED!
I do get a little nervous every time I am about to eat in front of anyone and I panic and I get tight and nothing wants to go down! Maybe I have a bug or something...still no TOM! Dont know whats going on...
In Canada we recognize our fallen soldier's and honour them on Remembrance Day which is Nov 11th and we wear our POPPIES proud!
So we all have Thursday off and my boss graciously decided to close on Friday as well! Oh yea! I so need a day of NOTHING! I may not even brush my teeth or shower...just stay in bed and chill ALL DAY LONG! HAHAHAH! Keep you posted!
Hope you are all having a great week!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I was so afraid of puking in front of my husband that I had to hide out in the bathroom. Even tried to take a bath to relax me.
I have been barely eating for the last two weeks and then I decide to have a little steak. Well that was so WRONG!
I should have weighed myself this morning!
Planning my husband's big 40th bday for Saturday - maybe the stress and TOM of the month is playing tricks on my body! I haven't had a fill since May and I am TIGHT! IM HUNGRY!
Hope you are all having a better day...
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Thank you all so much for your thoughtful and considerate messages...its so sweet and will not be forgotten!
My Dad is doing so much better. They are trying really hard to get rid of the infection...he has 7 weeks of IV antiobiotics and then they will have to do more tests! If they cant get rid of the infection, then he will have to have the knee replacement all over again. Something we are trying to not even think about!
I haven't even stepped on the scale...been a little tight the past week and the only thing I can think of is that its that time of the month again! My eating has been horrible. So out of routine and eating crap. Hoping things will settle down and I can get back into!
We did go to a Halloween Party and I was in no mood...negative nelly! Within an hour, I was dancing and dancing...all night that I woke up with my hips hurting this morning! Who needs the gym when you can dance all night long! Just what I needed as a stress reliever!!!
Now I want to look into hip hop dancing lessons...Ive always loved to dance! This could be crazy but this is the new ME!
Oh yeah, people are not recognizing me at 50lbs down...feels a little strange but I WILL TAKE IT!
Hope you are all having a SPOOKTAKULAR DAY!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
My Dad got admitted to the hospital last night...he has an infection in his knee which he had replaced last year! My poor Dad and his surgeries. Thankfully he is a strong man and hoping his heart is as well. Everytime I call my Mom, she starts to cry and then it makes me sad...I can see the pain and stress in her face and she is so easy to read. I keep trying to remind her that Dad can see it as well. She needs to STOP!
I need a mental health day...the hospital is an hour drive from my house! Along with hockey, dance, school meetings etc. I had to file ME all the way to the back and this can make me crazy!
The worse part...My son told me this morning that he has no clean underwear! OH MY GAWD I just about lost it! Serenity NOW!
Here's hoping everyone is having a better day...
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Two days is not enough for me. By the time I wind down, I need another day to just chill, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, drama, hockey, swimming lessons and a little church to cleanse the soul...and mamma needs a lot of soul cleansing!
I weighed in at 186 yesterday but funny cause it was flipping back and forth to 185. I will see it this week...for damn sure! I wanna be 180 before our Annual Black Friday Girls Weekend in Seattle on November 25th! 3 days of bliss....shopping, no kids, no husbands, amazing food and then dancing all night with the college boys! You cant beat it!
The house is all decorated for Halloween and I didn't have anything to do with it! My husband and kids - too cute! I even scored a Hanna Montana costume for my chicky poo to wear! She looks so freakin cute! I wanted to be Snooki from Jersey Shore - I may be able to pull it off!
I will post pics soon...I promise! I wanted to do it at my goal which is 60lbs down and that would be 172! Only 14 more lbs!
Hope you all had a FAB weekend! Here's to a sweet week!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
A month of back to school has happened, we have my sons hockey schedule and my daughters dance schedule, so now its about ME!!!!!!!
Monday - Drums (rush home and cook dinner)
Tuesday - Dance Class (I can walk the lake - depending on weather)
Wednesday - Nadda so far but not a good day for me - may be my day off!
Thursday - Dinner at my mil's (1 hour at gym)
Friday - I usually go home and clean the house
Saturday - Hockey at 9:15 to 10:30, Drama Class for daughter at 11:15 to 12:45 ( again I can walk the lake - depending on the weather)
Sunday - I would love to do the spin class at the gym but my daughter has swimming lessons from 11:00-11:30 and I really need to get back to Church. My kids go to a Catholic School!
Ok, so I have it written down and helps me to get organized ( i love lists)
So my workout days...
Tuesday, Thursday, Sat and maybe Sunday! You saw it all here ladies! HOLD ME TO IT!
This will get me into the 170's and one step closer to my designer jeans! I could go for another fill but I really want to be able to lose with my current restriction which is my Green ZONE!
Hope you are all having a blessed Monday!
Weekend was crazy busy...I just got caught up on the blogs!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Check them out! They have great slimming effects and the but looks FAB!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Now that I have lost over 40lbs, the compliments are just rolling in!
And the dreaded question..."what are you doing??"
Reply: "Working out 7 days a week and small portions!" Well 1 out of the 2 is correct! Small portions...Working out right now is more like 2-3 days a week!
I know my body is my body and I can do whatever I want but I feel wierd with my response! Call me crazy??
I think its time for a fill...I can finally eat somewhat more than a cup. Not looking forward to it! I know!
Hope everyone had a BOOBFULL weekend!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I'll take it!
I keep going back and forth with my goal weight...I like seeing the numbers go down but honestly I am feeling pretty comfortable in my skin right now. I like my voluptuous curves and tattas!
I went shopping on Saturday to try on some designer jeans - no such luck! So I am thinking 15 more lbs which will take me to 170. But the main inspiration is the designer jeans...SO I am setting a new GOAL! It means my waist should be 30.5 and my hips 41 inches! A comfortable size 12 Here it is:
I have never been able to wear a pair and would always see my friends buying and trying and looking fab! NOW ITS MY TURN LADIES! Move away....here I come!
Life's been pretty hectic with back to school and getting into the groove. I just received a call from the school, informing me that my daughter forgot her uniform yesterday at school! ARRRRGGGGHHH! Luckily today was a non uniform day or else I would have lost it this morning!
Another crazy busy weekend ahead....sometimes I wish there were three days!
Hope you are all doing FABULOUS!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Its freakin crappy outside. Raining cats and dogs out there...
Its the long weekend and the kids start back to school tomorrow. My husband took the day off and will be taking the kids to school. ME - WORK!
I did get out for an hour today and went to the mall...it was PACKED! I did find a few things but refrained. HARD! Things look so much better on me. I did catch a glimpse of my backside in the mirror and IT WAS NOT PRETTY! Yuck...I need to get more excercise in and maybe buy some cellulite slimming cream or something.
Weekend was somewhat productive! Its officially September...ALREADY! The countdown will soon begin to our BLACK FRIDAY LADIES WEEKEND IN SEATTLE! Oh yeah!
Hope you are all having a skinny minny monday!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I guess the flip side is I DID IT! I made my August goal of 190lbs! I had to get on twice to believe it...
I still have the scale phobia...who knows how long it will take before I am 100% confident of what I see I will be happy with!
I am just so sick and tired of the past...getting on and being disappointed and ruining my day!
It also amuses me when people come up to me and tell me I look so good! I take it graciously and then think, damn what did I look like before or what did people think! I guess a 42lb loss does make a difference. I did notice it in my waist this morning but then I look at my legs and hips and I just slightly cringe...working on it!
I am counting the days for all you BOOBS gals. Please have a drink or few for me! Take lots of pics and hold on to the memories!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Its been a long week...no excercise and no energy. I am supposed to be getting my (.) but nothing seems to be coming. I guess it wants to wait a little longer. I just don't like weighing when I know its coming. Always adds a few pounds! Crazy I know!
My daughter finishes her camp today and then my son starts a new one next week so there will be more driving around. I have spent so much money on fuel this summer...yes FUEL!
Tomorrow my sis, niece and baby girl are going shopping down south...WOOHOOO! Only to Bellingham but theres a TARGET and TRADER JOE's! Something we dont have here in Vancouver...
Sunday I need to start getting organized for back to school = YUCK! Lunches, homework and notices galore. So not looking forward to it!
Weight and health wise...I have my CT scan booked for Sunday, Sept 19 @ 7:30am! YES! Can you believe that...A Sunday! We have a 40th party the night before. The receptionist told me to drink lots and I asked her if Alcohol counts. She didn't really laugh! WHATEV!
Weigh in day is on Tuesday...190 is the goal!
Hope you are all having a fab day and here's looking to an amazing weekend!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I feel so much better. More energy and a clearer mind!
Would I do it again? HELL YA! I would never have lost 40lbs on my own.
I do miss taking big bites of burgers, hot dogs, etc. Definitely a learning curve but I love my new body more!
Weekend was a total blast! Two concerts and they ROCKED! We stood for over 5 hours on Saturday in the sun and it was an experience I will never forget! Beach Boys opened for Bryan Adams. I cried when he came out. Brought back a ton of memories...
The goal for August is 190. I am two pounds away...Drinking my water and will eventually get back into the excercise. It seems like all I do is drive the kids everywhere, clean the house and so much running around.
I have to thank each and everyone of you...I would not have come this far without all of your love and support!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Happy to be back but in a slight funk!
Back to my post title...
We went out on Thursday night and my so called "best friend" was quiet - again! Not much conversation and I could not figure it out. This friendship takes a lot of work. I mean a lot and it seems like its all me. When we do get together, she is negative and I allow her to make her comments. Buuuut, I never make them back and I think she takes advantage of that. I have continued to stay friends and make more of an effort cause she is married to my husband's best friend and my childhood friend. Makes it more complicated! It seems like we have a better email friendship than a personal one. Does that make sense? They have a 2 year old son which I absolutely love...so I am in a funk and a crossroads! Feels good to put it out there!
On to my liver...I have to go for another bloodtest to check my kidneys before I can even make the CT appointment. It still hurts after I eat and I honestly think its affecting my band and how much I can eat. Getting stuck a lot - had a few episodes while away and it totally sucks! It sucks that the sliders have no problems! Every meal, I get tense and don't know what to expect which causes me more grief!
Another slight issue...heartburn. Any suggestions???
I am slowly catching up on all the blogs! Sending happiness and love to you all!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Well I looked it up to better understand what the hell the doctor was saying...
"A hemangioma of infancy (or haemangioma of infancy) is a benign self-involuting tumor of endothelial cells (the cells that line blood vessels). In most cases it appears during the first days or weeks of life and will have resolved at the latest by age 10. In infancy, it is the most common tumor."
So the good news is that it is not my gallstones but a benign tumor on my liver. It scared the shit out of me...I am now going for a CT scan to see it even closer but some people are saying not to and just wait for another ultrasound in 3 months! "There is more rays in a CT scan to harm you than whats in you" Does anyone know about this? I need some guidance! I almost wish it was my gallstones. Sometimes the pain is not tolerable!
The crappy part is that its been hurting all day long and then we went out for lunch, took two bites (lobster ravioli) and I was in the loo sending it right back up! Crap...I just threw up again. WTF????? It just goes to show that stress plays a huge part on our body! I AM HUNGRY!
I did get on the scale and was surprised to see 194! Maybe it was the bitch assing run I went for last night to clear my head!
I SOOOO NEED THIS VACATION!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Being 36lbs lighter from last year really helps with the heat and sweat!
I have been reading everyone's blogs and trying to comment. Its been a little crazy at work. They are putting air conditioning in! YEUP! Finally!
My mind has been in a slight funk and I don't know why! Driving me a little crazy! I have nothing to worry about or think about but the brain doesn't shut off. Sometimes I wish I knew how to turn it off.
The last weigh in was 196 and I need to get back on the scale before we leave for our Okanagan vacation. Oooohhh, 5 days beach and poolside with a drink or two in my hot hands! I wish I was there right now!
Had my ultrasound on Friday and the results are in (gallstone????) so I am off to the doctor at 6 for my follow up! Stay tuned...
Oh yeah, we went to Kits Beach on the weekend (rated number 3 in the world or north america...I can't remember!) well its only 15 minutes from our home! We had the best fish and chips. I took a picture with my Iphone. Not as good as I hoped. I will post! We also went downtown to the trade and convention center and I was able to get a picture of the Olympic TORCH! Very cool and what an amazing view!
Hope you are having a Wonderful Wednesday! Here's hoping to a Tootin Thursday!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
For nominating me the exclusive and very cool award! My first and I am completely honoured!!!
I am speechless...if you can believe it!
Seven things you don't know about me ~ Hmmmmm...
1. I have a crush on Zac Efron
2. I love watching Hannah Montana with my kids
3. I have a magazine addiction
4. I got kicked out of elementary school - grade 6 cause, "I played with the boys too much"! Beat that!
5. I love me my Entourage and a whole dose of the Real Housewives!
6. I am a PVR addict!
7. I love love Mexican Food!
If you got Tagged, then you are it and one I would like to nominate:
V at http://seriouslyv.blogspot.com/
Michelle at http://bandsterjourney.blogspot.com/
Camille at http://livinglargeincc.blogspot.com/
Jen at http://whatyoulookinatskinny.blogspot.com/
Kim at http://mypursuitofskinnyness.blogspot.com/
Alexis at http://alexisswenson.blogspot.com/
You are all so wonderful and have helped me during this amazing journey!
Hugs and Kisses!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I had to share it with all of you...
I have been MIA lately. Its our annual audit at work and it has kept me crazy busy!
I'm almost caught up on the blogs and I feel so much more in tune with everyone.
Weigh in day is supposed to be Saturday but I got my period this morning and I feel FATTTTTTTTT! Yeaup, I said it. Kinda gross too! May have to weigh in on Sunday instead.
Sounds like you are all doing pretty good...some bumps along the road for some but all in all, we are a GOOD BUNCH! Keep on rockin hotties!
Monday, July 26, 2010
It turned out to be a great one...
Friday was my niece's bday.
Saturday we cleaned and then we went out for dinner to a friends house.
Sunday we made a last minute decision and went to a beautiful place about 30 minutes from us called White Rock. It was so nice. I took a ton of pics and I have added some for your viewing pleasure! Another great reason to visit the beautiful province of BRITISH COLUMBIA!
Went home last night and got organized for the week! It was pretty sweet!
Here's to reaching 195 this week. Trying my damndest!
Friday, July 23, 2010
I know its expected but in the back of my brain I thought it wouldn't actually happen to ME! Craziness!
My restriction has also loosened somewhat...Its been almost 3 months since my last fill and I was gonna wait until I got back from my vacation in August. See how it goes...
Yesterday this is what I ate...
Breakfast: 1 cup of fruit, yogurt and oats
Yesterday I went to go weigh myself and the damn scales' batteries were done and it showed me 179 all the way to 189...no way JOSE! 10-20lbs in a week! I wish...well not really!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYMIf you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
Dear Diary,For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
TUESDAY:I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.
THURSDAY:Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me.Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
FRIDAY:I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anaemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
SATURDAY:Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY:I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Its taking every ounce of me to stay awake at my desk. I keep closing my eyes for a few moments and then I get rattled by the phone ringing! Only 1 more hour...I can do it.
Every time I close my eyes I keep thinking of CHOCOLATE so I came up with this...
Chocolate. There's something mystical and irresistible about chocolate. The word itself is sensual and romantic. The creamy, silky texture, the deep brown color, sweet flavor, the tantalizing aroma...the seductive characteristics of chocolate can arouse the senses and send one's pulse racing to new heights.
OMG...sounds like something else I know of!
I’ll admit it upfront. I’m a straight up, hard core chocoholic. If I let myself, or had it readily available all the time, I would eat chocolate everyday and I would do it for the rest of my life.
My 12-step Chocoholics program:
"NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!"
If you're like me... don't feel guilty, just enjoy!
Happy Manic MONDAY!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
definitely a Great night when you lose a HOT PINK BANGLE, go to bed with your MAKEUP and wake up with a slight but manageable HEADACHE!
My husband and all of his highschool buddies turn 40 this year and this was bday number 2! There are definitely more to come...
I was a little nervous all day...didn't know what to expect and would I have a meltdown when I went to put my new dress on!
Took my time, pulled up my hair in a pony with a NEON pink hair tie, did my 80's make-up, put my NEON bangles and earrings on. Applied light tanning cream to my body, put on my SPANKS and then it was time...Dress first and then my wedge heels - oh my did I feel sessy!!!
I did not overfuss like I normally would. Looked in the mirror a few times, applied my GLOSS and bam I was done. Then I patiently waited for my husband. Oh yeah, HAIL TO THE BAND!
I did receive a lot of compliments and one was the weight loss in my face. I go back to some pics from 6 months ago and my face was round and looked freakin swollen!
Had a fab dinner - creamy lasagna and a piece of rib. Put two pieces of brocccoli on my plate for good looks! Dam the lasagna was so good, I went for a second piece! My appetite is back and I can definitely eat more depending on what time of the day it is. I had a great day yesterday and even went for an hour run so I did not feel so bad. Ooooh, I'd kill for another piece of that lasagna today!
We partied and danced all night and came home to no kids - it was FAB!! Got a ton of compliments from my gorgeous husband...its been a long time since he has seen me in a DRESS!
Well I guess I'd better go and remove the mascara before I freak out the kids...having my cappucino and chillin on a beautiful morn in Vancouver!!
Hail to the BAND and all you hotties!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Just call me the freaking MOM BUS DRIVER! The kids are out of school and I am driving all over town to get them to camps and activities. I am just drained by the time I get home...
I did go for my walk last night and I felt so much better. It cleanses the brain and I get alone time. Pretty sweet.
I had nothing exciting to post but then I read Amy's blog http://cheeseandsunkist.blogspot.com/ and she totally inspired me and helped clear my brain! I am always thinking the what if's and what abouts but then I read this line and it made me feel so much better! She is 18 months in and over a 100lbs lost - you can't beat it!
"Gone is my fear that I will fail....that this won't work for me. Gone is the feeling that this is another "diet". This is my life now. And that is a good feeling."
So coolios to all you wonderful peeps that write the most inspirational posts that are so informative and eloquently! Well said...
Monday, July 12, 2010
"It’s recommended to not use a straw when drinking beverages. Straws introduce
increased amounts of air into the stomach and can cause gas which can be
uncomfortable and painful. People tend to take bigger drinks with straws and drink
liquids faster which could also result in more fluid then the stomach can hold"
And when I do use one, I can feel the pressure/gas for SURE!
First time in a long time...
I had a semi good but unproductive day yesterday and it drives me a little crazy.
I did wake up and go for my run in the sun...sooo much better to get it over with in the morning and then be able to chill the rest of the day! And that I did. Washed a couple of loads of laundry and then sat out in the sun all day...read my book, did some surfing and then thats it!
I sometimes forget how to relax and I need to train myself to just chill and stop feeling guilty about it. Hard to turn the brain off!
I weighed in at 198 and feeling goooooood!
My sister thinks I look like I weigh way less. Sorry not the deal.
I did create a new bevvie...oh yeah - chocolate, coffee and bailey's milkshake! GOES DOWN SMOOOOOOOOOTH! I could have one for breakfast lunch and dinner!
Oh yeah, remind me about the whole STRAWS issue??????????? Hard to drink without one but I know there is major reasoning behind it!
Kids are in camps this week, need to have my ultrasound for the pain on my right side, dentist and a 40th bday party - 80's style! So its definitely gonna be a crazy one!
Hope you are all having a beautiful start of the week!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Oh yeah, you heard right....
HEAT = TIGHTNESS!
My last fill was on May 6th and right now I am feeling more tightness than ever. Finally hitting 30 degree temps in the beautiful city of VANCOUVER!
Let's not forget the whole IKEA fiasco...(as per Jack Shit - the toilet is where its AT! Next time!)
Last night I had two bites of my slider and holy tightness mamma - I had to bring it back up. Sounds gross eh?
Weigh in was this morning but the rush to get the kids out...didn't happen! Will attempt again tmr morning!
Ok, I have to tell you all about my acupuncture story from yesterday...
I went to acupuncture yesterday (straight out of a Seinfeld episode) and she asked me what kind of food I liked..I said Italian…OOOOH, big tummy – oily food – then she looked at my butt cause of my sciatica and she thought my big ass shelf was swollen…UMMM no, it’s just my ASS! I was there for over an hour and a half. Massage, needles, pressure and cupping…READY? $55 dollars! My mouth dropped! AHHH, you cummm back??? HELL YA! I just kept asking myself what she would have thought of me over 30lbs ago...
Sunday, July 4, 2010
I can't stop looking in the mirror and who knew I would love my bones sticking out in places I can't remember even existed!
I just about passed out this morning...trying on my size 32 Juicy Skirt! IT FIT! I never thought this new life would exist for me. I was so obsessed with the way I looked...and I hated myself for it! I lost control of ME! Now I am back and back in full force baby!
I keep saying I wish I had done it sooner but sooner we were not financially stable and we would not have been able to afford it. It would have been so much more stressfull...trying to lose weight and figuring out a way to pay for it!
I get scared sometimes like something will happen to the band and it will have to be removed but I have to remind myself that everything is going to be ok. Its like its too good to be TRUE! IS IT? Can I be happy, skinny and feel good about myself? My mom is a major worry wort and I have inherited this trait! I know, LUCKY ME!
I have two confessions....
1. I was at Ikea the other day, had two bites of those damn hotdogs that are so good and CHEAP and I felt the tightness....ready? I was with my daughter, could not make it to the loo and I had to vomit in one of the display kitchen sinks! CAN ANYONE BEAT THAT?? You should have seen my daughter's face...luckily she is only 6 and hopefully forgot about it pretty fast! To make matters worse a family was coming by to see the kitchen and I had to quickly cover it up! Who said this was the easy way out???
2. A few years back, we had very little money and I was attempting another magic weight loss system - LA Weightloss...Anyone hear about this? Well I had to pay a ton of money up front and I didn't have it...so I pawned my gorgeous gold necklace and bracelet that my mil gave me for my engagement. I think about it all the time and it hurts me. Needless to say I could never wear it cause it was too tight around my FAT neck but now it would look gorgeous! It hurts my feelings when I think about it. I have not told anyone and I know all you beautiful people will understand my pain.
I do feel better....
Happy 4th of July to all you sessy ladies and gents south of the BORDER!
My ONEDERLAND goal gift you ask?
Here it is...In a SIZE medium which is equivalent to a 6-8 - which I will be sporting in Mexico next Spring - SKINNY BITCH STARDOM here I COME!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
4 months ago I would say to myself that its not realistic - well SHUT the F up baby...cause 180's here I COME!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Our family from Montreal and Toronto said we eat like chickens! Too funny! All the food was so delicious!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
10 days of no morning crap (getting the kids dressed and out of the house), no laundry, no cleaning up after everyone and no tidying up like a crazy woman!
5 days will be spent in Toronto (my son has a hockey tournament) and 5 days will be spent in Montreal! All of my mother in law's family is in Toronto and we have so much fun whenever we visit.
She has never been to Montreal and I am excited to be taking her! She turns 75 this year!
Can't forget the box, I mean big ass box of cookies she has made to ship as luggage! She called me in a panic..."how many bags can we check in?" Priceless!
Don't know how or where I will find a computer...hopefully I will be able to connect somewhere! I will miss all of your daily posts!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Doesn't help that I am eating out both times with friends that have no clue that I have had the surgery. I get stressed just thinking about it. I know its only 3 months in and my body will eventually adjust but it seems like every meal is a test. What works and what doesn't! WHO knew I could easily throw up!! Oh my!! I also dont want to be hurting/damaging my esophogas or anything.
Looks like rice and pasta are OUT! But hold on...I had some pork dumplings last night and no probs! WTF?? Who said this was easy??
This is what I ate:
Tall Vanilla Latte and a biscotti
Junior Chicken Burgen (took about half an hour to eat)
Piece of Ham and Pineapple Pizza
Some Veggies and Dip
Wow, not a great food day at all!
Could I be too tight or is the stress making me tighter??
Friday, May 28, 2010
Hope everyone gets to go out and enjoy themselves this weekend!
My sweet hubby is in Vegas...miss him terribly. 2 More sleeps...2 more sleeps!
1. If you could be a flower, which one would it be and why?
Peonies...gorgeous and absolutely breathtaking...UMMM just like me!
2. Which Sex and The City Character do you most relate to?
A little Mr.Big and the best walk in closet in the world never hurts!
3. If you had a crystal ball or could know one thing about the future - what would it be?
My kids and husband and I are healthy and happy till we are in our 90's!
4. What's your biggest fear in your weight loss journey?
It will make me sick or it will have to be taken out!
5. Whose blog or comment spoke to you the most this week and why?
Sandy Lee and her love life!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sometimes it is just so damn frustrating, I wanna scream!
Sucks cause yesterday I was celebrating 25lbs gone and today I am upset! All the crazy ups and downs of bandland!
I have a headache now...gonna go lay down!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
That's right ladies and gentlemen...25lbs as of today and my 3 month bandiversary! I cannot remember the last time I felt this great and so damn comfortable in my own skin!
So what has happened in the last 3 months...started my two week pre-op on Feb 10th, had surgery on the 24th and asked myself what the hell did I get myself into...did not want to deal with the pain. Low and behold I survived! I have not looked back since! Slow and steady weightloss.
First fill April 6th - again scared shitless and of course not required - again I survived! Lost some more poundage...slow and steady. Then I did the 30 challenge - 30 days, 30 minutes of excercise a day - whipped my ass in shape! Hell ya!
Second Fill May 5th to 6cc's and its been lovely ever since...actually I lied - control wise, very good but had a few pb episodes and left chest shoulder pain - again I survived. Feels like my sweet spot but I know I will want a fill down the road. Will wait it out. I need to remind myself that this is NOT a game and more of a whole lifestyle change...slow and steady! Just the way momma likes it...if you know what I mean!
Ooops I forgot...during all this transformation, there has been a lot of tooting and more tooting and more tooting! Nice eh! My GAS-X is my friend. Who would have known. I definitely miss my s shaped bowel movements. Doesn't get any better than that!Excercise has been ok...not overly aggressive but back with the trainer and she is gonna kick my ass. I am scared as I type this! How can a skinny little bitch be so damn powerful????
Its Victoria Day weekend here in beautiful British Columbia and of course Canada! Sandy from http://rollercoasterdieting.blogspot.com/ gave the best history/backup - MAY 2-4! Hell ya, its when the patio furniture, bbq's, food and alcohol come out of the closets and we are officially in Spring and getting ready for a HOT and SUNNY summer! But of course we are at the rink today...the finals for the hockey tourney. So proud of my son...he is rocking it! They WON gold!! Yey!! We are heading to Toronto next week for the Ronald McDonald Tournament. Its gonna be a blast!
Again a shout out to all of you...56 followers and you are all so special. I could not do this without you. You have been a blessing! Have a fantabulous day and enjoy the SUN!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Check it out...
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I am finding deals online like MAD and I get all excited about getting the package and then trying it on!
I think I need help...instead of being obsessed about food 24/7, I am turning to SHOPPING! Ah hello credit cards and craziness! I have always loved to shop but now with the better bod, things fit...designer WEAR! PRICEY designer WEAR$$$$$$$$$$$ I am afraid my CC might BLOW UP!
How do I stop? Gen, any suggestions?? I remember you and the bras and VS, Jcrew and Athleta!
Is there a book on this??
Do I not deserve the new clothes? I have been wearing crappy PLUS SIZE - non designer wear for years and always dreamed of fitting into "regular" clothes! I am even buying soon sizes and clothes I can take in when!
Someone PLEASE justify this for me or tell me STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
What I struggle with is his selfishness! Damn! Why? I know a lot of guys are but his is painful! What brings this up you say? Well my sister has asked me to go to San Diego with her in July for a few days and I have been arguing with him cause he thinks I shouldn't go. He says we should go as a family. Uhh, do do brain...a lot more affordable for one of us to go rather than a family of 4! We are already booked for Toronto and Montreal (don't get too excited...a hockey tournament and visiting with family - not an ounce of chilling!) in a few weeks but hold on, he goes to VEGAS at the end of May!
YEUP! All 4 of his buddies and I helped him book everything. PISS OFF! So wrong. Its so easy for him to go and enjoy himself but when it comes to me, its always questionable! So not fair. I only ask for a few days away chillin by the pool. Oh yeah, he is not a pool sitter - more like a cat - afraid of the damn water! And when we go on family vacays, we are always running around doing things and its extra special when all 4 (mil is always vacationing with us by the way - widowed and her dumb ass daughter never takes her anywhere!) are staring at me with what's next! Yes, all the pressure is on me to plan and make sure everyone is "good"! I never get to just chill! He doesn't do any of the planning and then complains when we do things that I like! WHATEVER! My mom wants us to go to Puerta Vallarta at Spring Break next year...they are paying for accomodations and he is already complaing! WTF? Done! TIRED of his BS!
Sorry I am rambling...trying to get the whole history in!
We even attempt to go to the Okanagan in the summer for a few days. I really like it, a ton of friends for us and the kids and we all have a blast. You lounge by the pool, drinks, walk and just chill. Guess what, he doesn't want to go back. I am not arguing with him anymore. He has now brainwashed my son as well and I gotta hear it from him. I am gonna finally be stubborn on this one and not go this year. He can maybe feel bad for a minute or so! WHo knows, maybe I am just wasting my time and it won't even phase him!
So back to San Diego...looks like I am not going. I don't have the energy to fight him anymore. I guess the saying is true..."gotta pick your battles"!
Wow, it definitely feels so good to put it out there. You are all a blessing in my life. Someone to listen and talk to!
Ladies and gents, life is hard but we can do it! We are lucky to be breathe! DETERMINED!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Yeah, I know she has done it the conventional way but who in the world can live off that food??? I tried it and lasted 5 days!!! Enough with the ads already!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
I've been afraid to eat any solids just in case! Its been liquids. Had a yummy strawberry banana vivanno smoothie from Starbucks and then I made a delish corn chowder. Filled it with everything. red peppers, corn, bacon, potatoes, onion and cod. I had a bowl full but still felt hungry so for dessert I had an ice cream cone. Went down with no problems. Will see how the morning goes when I am usually tighter. Tomorrow night is dinner at my MIL's and her food isn't as band friendly and of course I haven't told her!
Its finally beautiful in Vancouver...off I go to enjoy some time with my kiddies.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
2. What is your all-time favorite movie and why?
Easy peasy my friends... DIRTY DANCING! I loved Patrick Swayze in that movie (it also hit me hard when he passed!). I cry each time and could easily watch it a million times! We do an annual fav things at Christmas with 10 friends and this past year...I gave each girl a DVD of Dirty Dancing! Coincidently it was a 25 year anniversary edition! Oh yeah, did I tell you that I LOVE TO DANCE!!!
3. What’s your trigger food?
Ahhhhh, hello... BACON AND CHOCOLATE! I could bathe in it!
4. When someone you love is going through a difficult time – what are your go-to words to make them feel better – in just a sentence or two?
I just let them know that I am here for them and please, if there is anything I can do to help, please feel free to ask!
5. This one is always the same. Who is your nominee for the blog of the week for YOU? Which blog OR comment touched your heart, spoke to you, stuck with you all week?
I would have to say Gen's SOB...and Judi's Stories from the Road! Very inspiring especially for the newbies!
Will be on the phone today getting a little LOUD! Just back away. This needs to be taken care of PRONTO!
Thanks for all the supportive comments...they really do help. Sometimes its hard to talk about shit like and ya'll make it so much easier!
Ok, clearing my head, gonna go drink my green tea and defunk!
Have a fab weekend all you sessy HOTTIES!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I get home and open the mail...this is where it STARTS!
I get a letter from our insurance carrier for our critical illness mortgage insurance and they have declined my coverage!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET THIS...they list the reason because of my...READY???
WEIGHT AND HEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my gawd, my mouth dropped and my heart sunk all the way to my stomach! WTF??? This can't be! I am willing to pay that extra amount for the coverage and they are declining me. ME! 36, healthy, ecg was perfect...non smoker. WEIGHT AND HEIGHT! WEIGHT AND HEIGHT! Did I mention that?
Crazy cause we had to renew our mortgage due to the rates and we were already accepted on the crititical illness coverage on the first time but there was confusion with applications, so they made a REP call me. I completed the questionairre and I had to tell them about my lapband!
I was and am healthy with a slight weight issue! I was 232lbs and 5 foot 3!! I am now 211lbs! Doesn't that count for anything? I even self paid for my surgery!!!!
Can anyone explain this shit to me?
I just lost it and it ruined my evening and lost any motivation in me!!
I need the strength to dust off my pain and get back up!!! HELP!! Please tell me I am not crazy!!! PLEASE!
I should be proud and happy cause I made one of my goals - a size 16 pant! Now I just want that damn ONEDERLAND! What will it take to get there?? WHAT? I go for my second fill on Wednesday! Should I go to 5ccs or 4.5ccs? I am currently at 4ccs.
By the way, I have my husband announce that he has lost even more weight...down to 211! My gawd, I weigh the same as him and of course too afraid to let him know! At the gym once or twice a week and eating less! I have been excercising every damn day on this CHALLENGE! Day 20 by the way!
Wow, does that make me feel better or what!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Consumption rises alongside levels of depression, study finds
By Steven ReinbergHealthDay Reporter
MONDAY, April 26 (HealthDay News) -- Could the depressed be "self-medicating" with chocolate? A new study finds that people battling depression reach for more of the sweet treat than non-depressed folks do.
Many people believe that "when they are feeling a little bit down, chocolate makes them feel better," said lead researcher Dr. Beatrice A. Golomb, an associate professor in the department of family and preventive medicine at the University of California, San Diego.
Chocolate does appear to be popular among people with depression, whether or not they are being treated with antidepressants, the research team found. "A lot of us may have been able to predict this finding," Golomb said.
For the study, published in the April 26 issue of the Archives of Internal Medicine, the UCSD team looked at the relationship between chocolate and mood in 931 women and men who were not taking antidepressants.
The participants were asked how much chocolate they ate, and their level of depression was measured on a standard depression scale.
People diagnosed as depressed ate an average of 8.4 servings of chocolate each month compared with 5.4 servings among people who were not depressed, the researchers found.
The most depressed ate the most chocolate -- around 11.8 servings a month, the team discovered.
These findings were the same for men and women.
When the researchers looked at people who were taking medication for depression, they found these people ate chocolate at the same rate as those with untreated depression, according to Golomb. No difference was noted regarding consumption of other foods, such as fish, coffee, caffeine or fruits and vegetables, between the depressed and non-depressed people, the researchers found. The difference seemed to be isolated to chocolate, they said.
Chocolate -- particularly dark chocolate -- has been linked in other research to improved cardiovascular health and longevity, possibly because of its antioxidant properties, Golomb noted.
The link with depression could have several explanations. Because it is thought to improve mood, it could be a form of "self-medication," Golomb noted.
On the other hand, chocolate might contribute to depression, or the link could be a complex combination of as yet unknown physiological effects, the researchers said. Future studies are needed to further explore the association, they said.
Experts voiced different reactions to the findings.
"The nature of 'emotional eating' or 'comfort foods' is complex," said Dr. Gregory Simon, a psychiatrist and mental health researcher at the Group Health Research Institute in Seattle.
"When people feel depressed or distressed, they may prefer certain foods because of their nutritional content, such as more fat or refined sugar, or their emotional meaning, because some foods are seen as a treat or a consolation, or their practical qualities, since some foods take less motivation or energy to prepare or consume," Simon said.
Another expert, Dr. Lorrin Koran, professor emeritus of psychiatry and behavioral science, at Stanford University School of Medicine, noted that "chocolate has many advantages over other possible pleasures."
It is available, cheap, does not lose its pleasure-inducing quality with repeated use, does not require relating to other people and is culturally approved as a source of legitimate pleasure, he said.
"I strongly doubt that chocolate either induces depression or interferes with recovery from depression," Koran said. "If either idea were true, this would long ago have become obvious given the ubiquitous use of the substance over the last 500 years."
Monday, April 26, 2010
The 30 day challenge is definitely working with the band! Feeling a little more hungry at meals but restraining cause I wanna wanna get to ONEDERLAND! That's my next goal!!!!
We went out for dinner on Saturday and boy was it so much easier to just "get dressed"! Not crazy fat episodes!!! Not my fav word but that is what I have felt in the past!
Off to kick the elliptical's ASS with a perma SMILE!!
To top it off, my daughter who is 6 decides to tell me that the she sits alone and the girls don't want to play with her! WTF??WHY??? It just set me off. I know she is only 6 but I don't want for her to have to deal with this. I know its just the beginning and I can only protect her so much but WHY? Why when I am in a foul mood to begin with! WHY?
I told her to go play with the other girls and boys...I always wanted a baby girl and when I got her, I was blown away cause she is my little angel but I am scared out of my pants to deal with this stuff. What if I say the wrong thing?
Kids can be so mean! I was bugged in elementary and high school cause I had a larger than life european nose...and they made fun of me. It was horrible and I will never forget it. By the way, the nose is now proportioned oh so well on my beautiful face! Screw those jacks!
I can't say highschool was the best years of my life. I came from public and went to private. Everyone already had their clicky groups and it took all of my energy to get friends. I was always way more advanced and I had my boyfriend (husband) early. He was a few years older than me and I hung out at his school more than my own (just easier)! Needless to say I skipped out a lot cause I just didn't want to be there! I prevailed, graduated and have an amazing job!
Jeez, I feel like I am all over the place this morning...just typing is helping!
I knew if I put it out there, all you amazing people will help me get thru this...my husband tells me not to worry about it! He didn't go thru what I went thru!