Friday, April 30, 2010

BYOC...My first!

1.What’s your favorite smell?

Ummm, hello...BACON!

2. What is your all-time favorite movie and why?

Easy peasy my friends... DIRTY DANCING! I loved Patrick Swayze in that movie (it also hit me hard when he passed!). I cry each time and could easily watch it a million times! We do an annual fav things at Christmas with 10 friends and this past year...I gave each girl a DVD of Dirty Dancing! Coincidently it was a 25 year anniversary edition! Oh yeah, did I tell you that I LOVE TO DANCE!!!

3. What’s your trigger food?

Ahhhhh, hello... BACON AND CHOCOLATE! I could bathe in it!

4. When someone you love is going through a difficult time – what are your go-to words to make them feel better – in just a sentence or two?

I just let them know that I am here for them and please, if there is anything I can do to help, please feel free to ask!

5. This one is always the same. Who is your nominee for the blog of the week for YOU? Which blog OR comment touched your heart, spoke to you, stuck with you all week?

I would have to say Gen's SOB...and Judi's Stories from the Road! Very inspiring especially for the newbies!

Woke up in A FUNK!

Damn to I hate when that happens. The stress from yesterday gave me a stomach ache and I could not sleep and it took every damn ounce of me to get out of bed and workout! Oh my! I only did 25 of the 30. I had to shower and get the kids to school. Better than nothing! I so hoped it would clear my head - NO GO!

Will be on the phone today getting a little LOUD! Just back away. This needs to be taken care of PRONTO!

Thanks for all the supportive comments...they really do help. Sometimes its hard to talk about shit like and ya'll make it so much easier!

Ok, clearing my head, gonna go drink my green tea and defunk!

Have a fab weekend all you sessy HOTTIES!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Please please tell me I AM NOT CRAZY!!

I was having a great day...all your support and love is contagious!
I get home and open the mail...this is where it STARTS!
I get a letter from our insurance carrier for our critical illness mortgage insurance and they have declined my coverage!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET THIS...they list the reason because of my...READY???

WEIGHT AND HEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gawd, my mouth dropped and my heart sunk all the way to my stomach! WTF??? This can't be! I am willing to pay that extra amount for the coverage and they are declining me. ME! 36, healthy, ecg was perfect...non smoker. WEIGHT AND HEIGHT! WEIGHT AND HEIGHT! Did I mention that?

Crazy cause we had to renew our mortgage due to the rates and we were already accepted on the crititical illness coverage on the first time but there was confusion with applications, so they made a REP call me. I completed the questionairre and I had to tell them about my lapband!

I was and am healthy with a slight weight issue! I was 232lbs and 5 foot 3!! I am now 211lbs! Doesn't that count for anything? I even self paid for my surgery!!!!

Can anyone explain this shit to me?
I just lost it and it ruined my evening and lost any motivation in me!!

I need the strength to dust off my pain and get back up!!! HELP!! Please tell me I am not crazy!!! PLEASE!


Amazing Followers - you are all precious to me in this ever changing Journey! I couldn't do it without you!


I have read so many blogs and so many have said that they are NOT on a diet and it is a new way of life for them...I feel like I am on a CONSTANT DIET! Watching what I eat, no sweets, excercise and damn hard work just to lose a couple of pounds a week and this week - NADDA! I have lost 6lbs since my last fill. I guess I am like the others...I wish it would come off quicker! Why do we do this to ourselves??? WHY?

I should be proud and happy cause I made one of my goals - a size 16 pant! Now I just want that damn ONEDERLAND! What will it take to get there?? WHAT? I go for my second fill on Wednesday! Should I go to 5ccs or 4.5ccs? I am currently at 4ccs.

By the way, I have my husband announce that he has lost even more weight...down to 211! My gawd, I weigh the same as him and of course too afraid to let him know! At the gym once or twice a week and eating less! I have been excercising every damn day on this CHALLENGE! Day 20 by the way!

Wow, does that make me feel better or what!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Control Top Sessy Panties!!!

Do they exist?

If so, I need to know! Mine look like the ones above...just like grannies!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

This JUST In....DUH!

Chocolate a Sweet Pick-Me-Up for the Depressed
Consumption rises alongside levels of depression, study finds
By Steven ReinbergHealthDay Reporter

MONDAY, April 26 (HealthDay News) -- Could the depressed be "self-medicating" with chocolate? A new study finds that people battling depression reach for more of the sweet treat than non-depressed folks do.

Many people believe that "when they are feeling a little bit down, chocolate makes them feel better," said lead researcher Dr. Beatrice A. Golomb, an associate professor in the department of family and preventive medicine at the University of California, San Diego.

Chocolate does appear to be popular among people with depression, whether or not they are being treated with antidepressants, the research team found. "A lot of us may have been able to predict this finding," Golomb said.

For the study, published in the April 26 issue of the Archives of Internal Medicine, the UCSD team looked at the relationship between chocolate and mood in 931 women and men who were not taking antidepressants.

The participants were asked how much chocolate they ate, and their level of depression was measured on a standard depression scale.

People diagnosed as depressed ate an average of 8.4 servings of chocolate each month compared with 5.4 servings among people who were not depressed, the researchers found.
The most depressed ate the most chocolate -- around 11.8 servings a month, the team discovered.

These findings were the same for men and women.

When the researchers looked at people who were taking medication for depression, they found these people ate chocolate at the same rate as those with untreated depression, according to Golomb. No difference was noted regarding consumption of other foods, such as fish, coffee, caffeine or fruits and vegetables, between the depressed and non-depressed people, the researchers found. The difference seemed to be isolated to chocolate, they said.
Chocolate -- particularly dark chocolate -- has been linked in other research to improved cardiovascular health and longevity, possibly because of its antioxidant properties, Golomb noted.

The link with depression could have several explanations. Because it is thought to improve mood, it could be a form of "self-medication," Golomb noted.

On the other hand, chocolate might contribute to depression, or the link could be a complex combination of as yet unknown physiological effects, the researchers said. Future studies are needed to further explore the association, they said.

Experts voiced different reactions to the findings.
"The nature of 'emotional eating' or 'comfort foods' is complex," said Dr. Gregory Simon, a psychiatrist and mental health researcher at the Group Health Research Institute in Seattle.
"When people feel depressed or distressed, they may prefer certain foods because of their nutritional content, such as more fat or refined sugar, or their emotional meaning, because some foods are seen as a treat or a consolation, or their practical qualities, since some foods take less motivation or energy to prepare or consume," Simon said.

Another expert, Dr. Lorrin Koran, professor emeritus of psychiatry and behavioral science, at Stanford University School of Medicine, noted that "chocolate has many advantages over other possible pleasures."

It is available, cheap, does not lose its pleasure-inducing quality with repeated use, does not require relating to other people and is culturally approved as a source of legitimate pleasure, he said.

"I strongly doubt that chocolate either induces depression or interferes with recovery from depression," Koran said. "If either idea were true, this would long ago have become obvious given the ubiquitous use of the substance over the last 500 years."

Monday, April 26, 2010

From a Terrible day...

To an enlightening one! I ordered a pair of Michael Kors pants in a size 16, I came home and there they were. I stared at them for a few minutes and debated the try on. Finally I said, screw it. Tried them on and they fit like a glove!! Finally one goal accomplished... A SIZE 16!!! Woohhooooo!!

The 30 day challenge is definitely working with the band! Feeling a little more hungry at meals but restraining cause I wanna wanna get to ONEDERLAND! That's my next goal!!!!

We went out for dinner on Saturday and boy was it so much easier to just "get dressed"! Not crazy fat episodes!!! Not my fav word but that is what I have felt in the past!

Off to kick the elliptical's ASS with a perma SMILE!!

Foul Foul

Mood! Yup...I went to bed in one and woke up in one! Damn, I hate feeling like this. Too much going on in my brain and it is starting to hurt! How can you go from a happy happy place to a foul mood so damn fast!

To top it off, my daughter who is 6 decides to tell me that the she sits alone and the girls don't want to play with her! WTF??WHY??? It just set me off. I know she is only 6 but I don't want for her to have to deal with this. I know its just the beginning and I can only protect her so much but WHY? Why when I am in a foul mood to begin with! WHY?

I told her to go play with the other girls and boys...I always wanted a baby girl and when I got her, I was blown away cause she is my little angel but I am scared out of my pants to deal with this stuff. What if I say the wrong thing?

Kids can be so mean! I was bugged in elementary and high school cause I had a larger than life european nose...and they made fun of me. It was horrible and I will never forget it. By the way, the nose is now proportioned oh so well on my beautiful face! Screw those jacks!

I can't say highschool was the best years of my life. I came from public and went to private. Everyone already had their clicky groups and it took all of my energy to get friends. I was always way more advanced and I had my boyfriend (husband) early. He was a few years older than me and I hung out at his school more than my own (just easier)! Needless to say I skipped out a lot cause I just didn't want to be there! I prevailed, graduated and have an amazing job!

Jeez, I feel like I am all over the place this morning...just typing is helping!

I knew if I put it out there, all you amazing people will help me get thru husband tells me not to worry about it! He didn't go thru what I went thru!

Happy Days!

Sunday, April 25, 2010


Am I crazy or does anyone else hear their tummy? Did I miss this on the whole "what to expect with the band"?? I was just sitting in the car waiting and my tummy wouldn't stop. Not hungry and ate 20 minutes prior!

Friday, April 23, 2010


What is with this woman and freakin lunges and squats?? I can't believe I pay her to torture me! I can't sit, walk and move quickly! I need to get my 30 minutes in today and I am struggling!

Thank gawd its Friday!

My husband the skinny bitch had to buy a pair of pants so we went to the mall last night...literally walked in, grabbed a pair, tried them on and bought them! R U KIDDING ME? So WRONG on so MANY LEVELS! One day my day!

I have a lot this weekend...dinner, bdays, cleaning, excercising and LAUNDRY! I hate floors and laundry. It just piles up. I need a fairy poof it all away!

Have a fantabulous Friday and amazing weekend lovvies!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Feeling GOOD...

So finally all this hard work is paying off! I keep looking for a day off but I still have like 16 days left of the 30 day challenge! ONEDERLAND is where I need to go! I am officially down 21lbs - 2 months post surgery. Down to 211! I think I was around 200 like 4 years ago and my size 16 regular pants were snug. I can't wait to to put them on and they are loose! I am wearing my CJ cookie jeans that were snug a couple of weeks ago and today they fit like a glove. Somedays I wonder why its not more and get a little down but I have to remind myself of the inches and the weight! My body is changing and for the good. I can see it in my face, legs, butt and tummy!
Also a huge huge shout out to all of my gorgeous followers - 25 baby! I have learned so much from the blogland and look forward to having you with me on this journey!
Today is trainer day and I always get a little worried. She takes you to that "next" level and sometimes so damn hard! It would be great if I could afford her twice a week. Maybe when I get to my first plateau!
I have a lot on my to-do list! My nephew is having his 1st communion and my sister is feeling overwhelmed so I need to help her.
I did book my husband's venue for him and his buddies 40th bday! It will be a surprise and definitely a weight has been lifted. Its a one stop shop! I like that!
Still a little chilly and overcast in beautiful Vancouver. We need to up the HEAT pronto!
Happy Earth DAY!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Oh yeah, yesterday I was in a funk and in withdrawal from chocolate, cakes and sugary foods! I WAS IN A FUNK! Then I went to the gym, felt better, came home, showered, lunches, tv and bed! I woke up this morning to TWO caramel pecan tarts sitting on my counter! My mil bought them last night and sent them home with my hubby! I didn't even know they were there. Gosh, my hear sunk! I looked at them, smelled them and was going to freeze them but then I opted to bring them to work and let the guys eat them! Unfortunately the 3 skinny bitches I work with - all males are on a freakin health kick and don't want them. Luckily our landlord came in and I gave him one. There is one left and its on the counter. Hmmm....normally I would dream about them all day and just think about how lovely they would taste but then I found a way to post my pics...thanks to the hotness of Michelle - Life of my lapband diva!

So now I have even more motivation to kick sugar in the ass! Check out my two beauties I just bought! Size XL equivalent to designer 14 and a size 12 - mamma's gotta lose some major inches! Oh yeah, today I am wearing my JEGGINGS with style ladies! Bring it on!

Day 13 of 30 day body aches a little! Today I am going to continue with my week 3 of my C25K! SO loving it. Tomorrow is my trainer and of course I always get a little worried. She kicks my ass HARD!


Cheers to all the sessy lapband lovies!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Oh MY!

I just made a lavish and exciting purchase online....major buyers remorse! A goal gift...a beautiful leather jacket and a gorgeous jumpsuit! Ohhh, SAKS is having a sale. Enter the promo code Friend5 to recieve your 20% off! Mamma loves a sale. I am offically DONE! Ok, just one more dress. My parents won a little dough in the lottery and gave us a little gift so I used that! Guilt free happy spending! I just love the way my body is changing and I am excited to show it off with new clothes. Come on, its time right? I have been waiting forever to actually fit into normal clothes. 2 months post op and 20lb loss! The summer is gonna be HOT HOT HOT! I so wanna get to ONEDERLAND and now I have the perfect motiviation piece - my jumper!

Day 11 of the 30 day challenge and now I am roaring to go! "TOO LEGIT TO QUIT"!

I made the mistake of working out at 9 last night and could not fall asleep. No probs - easy day at work. Off at noon to go see my son in a tourney! Wrestling that is! Back to my old high school. A little nervous this morning. I am so crazy...I KNOW!

So far so good my friends! Embrace your hotness and enjoy!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

What a Relief!

I finally ate a proper meal last night....Mamma had some fish tacos and they were oh so good. Definitely go back for more! We ate at Earl's and it was yum. Maybe I was just starving for a real meal. I was so scared to eat yesterday. I finally had a nice warm cup of lemon water and then ate. My husband says to me, " I thought you couldn't drink before you eat?"! I said, I have to try and open it up a bit! It worked. I had an appetizer size and it was filling and I was done. The boys had chicken wings and I was so dying to eat one but opted not to!

All in all it was a pretty good day. My son finished his hockey tournament. Took my baby girl to drama classs (major drama queen) and then swimming lessons! Ohh the hightlight, get ready for this...I bought one of those wet jet mops - oh my gawd, I love love love it! I washed the floors - efffortlessly! Why did I wait so long?? Crazy eh? I hate doing floors!!!

Stomach's to another crazy busy day! Two kids bdays and 30 minutes of excercise!

Embrace your hot and sessy new bodies and rock it hard ladies!

Friday, April 16, 2010

R u FREAKIN kidding ME???

I was sitting so nicely today with my boss and smiling...he asked me why I was smiling and I responded life is pretty damn good. I have two amazing healthy children, a great husband, financially we are comfortable and so much less worrying and so much less sadness with my weight loss moving in the right direction...DOWN!

Left work, sat outside for a bit, went to Costco, cleaned up the house, went to MIL's for family dinner and then bam! I took a few bites and I felt pressure. I got up, went to the bathroom and I was in panic mode! I slimed, burped and was getting ready to throw up but nothing was coming. Then I felt even more pressure like I could not breathe... and then I felt hot and dizzy. I got so scared!!!! WTF???? This is not what it is supposed to be!! HELP! I had a few bites of pasta, a piece of chicken wing and a bite of bread and then it happened. IS THIS BANDSTER HELL cause it SURE FELT LIKE IT!! Now I am really scared to eat.

How can such a beautiful day end so crappy????? How do I get past this???

Day 8

Of 30...of my 30 day challenge and this morning it was a struggle! I was just tired and overwhelmed by my episode. I cant stop thinking of it and a little afraid to eat! I said LITTLE! Mamma can still eat!

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. After 25 minutes, I am so done and work damn hard for the last 5!

I was talking to a friend of mine about doing some reward shopping! She is a skinny b and doesn't know what it feels like to not be able to walk into a store and buy something off the rack! I was about to tell her but gave it a second thought. No point in wasting my energy...hell, I should be online shopping! Oh yeah, after 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 and lastly 70, I am SO rewarding myself. I will walk into the store and drop my cc like mad! I don't have to justify it to anyone. Beat that sista!

Its Friday and I love love Fridays! My mother in law makes the most amazing family dinners on Friday and the bonus is I have quiet me time from 3:30 to 5:30! Think I am gonna head to Costco and do some much needed food shopping and pick up a couple of mags...oh yeah, that's my vice! Love my mags!

Another crazy busy hockey, swimming and drama weekend! Oh yeah, two kids bdays on Sunday. SO done with these bdays! HELP!

Off to enjoy some sun!
Keep on smilin HOTTIES!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

It happened!

YUP! I threw up and it was not fun.
This is what happened...I worked my ass off with the trainer, hard, came home, showered, ran to mil's and sat down to ate but I was in a hurry cause I was going out for a pedi with my buddy. I took a few bites (brown rice and chicken) and I felt wierd. Tried to burp it down. Then I felt better and had some more. Ok, then a minute later...bam! I felt a pain in my chest. I went and slimed and slimed and I could not get comfortable. I was in panic mode cause I had to leave...I was definitely stuck but I thought it would pass. I kissed the kiddies, went downstairs and BAM! What a relief but uspetting cause I didn't want it to happen. I hate doing that. Scares the shit out of me. It was definitely a lesson learend: fast eating especially brown rice and chicken is a major NO! So I am in the loo sliming and kept telling myself that no more fills, no more fills and I have one booked for May 5th! Right now I have 4cc's!

The plan was to just a have a protein shake and send my husband to dinner. Next time I will know. I guess its part of the learning curve with my friendly bad ass band!

I am so relieved I started this blog cause I can get some guidance and support!

My stomach and chest feel off...hoping it subsides by the morning...DAY freakin 8 of my 30 day challenge! Oh yeah, trainer says I can lose 3lbs in one week if I continue doing what I am doing. Stay tuned!

Good night lovies...


Yey...5 followers and down a pound and a half! Must have been the waxing I had done last night! Pits and brows! She even used the scissors on my brows! Wow!

I always get nervous when I step on the scale. It has never been my friend but today I kinda liked her. She was nice to me. I even did my measurements and everything has gotten a wee bit smaller!

I still have no clue how to put more deets on my blog - like my stats. Definitely a work in progress!

I started at 232 and today I am 214. I have read so many blogs of people losing so much more. I get discouraged and have to remind myself that everyone is different. I can't remember the last time I was 214! Today is trainer day and sorta looking forward to it. She really works me. On Day 7 of my 30 Day Challenge! Wow, I knew it wouldn't be easy...I just think the next day I can get a rest day but no such luck! I can do this. The harder part is the no cakes, sweets, chocolate! YUP! I have a slight ok major sweet tooth!

I keep dreaming of ONEDERLAND! I sooo soooo sooo want to be there. I was never a patient person! My other to walk into a store and be able to purchase a size 16 pant! Its been a long time coming! Living in Vancouver, there are not many plus size options! Everything is geared to the skinnny bitches! ONE DAY MY FRIENDS!

I like to use my daily blog to write down what I have eaten.

Breakfast: 1/4 cup oatmeal with blueberries, nuts and flax
Snack: Hardboiled Egg
Lunch: Chicken and eggplants and Asparagus
Snack: Cheese string
Dinner: 1/2 Veggie Wrap and Chicken Wings
Snack: Orange

I had my first fill on April 6. I am now 4cc's in a 10cc band. My next fill is scheduled for May 5th.

Enjoy your day and keep on smiling!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

A new blog...

Ok so last night I was sitting in bed and wondering if I should do this or not. This lap band journey is a secretive one between my husband and sisters. No one else knows other than the surgeons, RN and maybe a girl from high school that I see at the surgical center. I know there is all this patient confidentiality stuff but what can I do...crossing my fingers and praying she never says anything and doesn't look at me any different! I keep asking myself why did I do this and then I remember that I could not do it on my own. Its a tool and so far a damn good one. I have tried every damn diet possible only to gain it back plus more. I am so on a mission. I have also started a 30 day challenge. 30 days of exercise for 30 minutes a day. I have also added no chocolate, cookies or cake! Majorly hard but I know this is what its gonna take to get to ONEDERLAND! Oh yeah its been a long time coming!

I had my surgery on Feb 24th and my pre-op diet started on Feb 10th! I have been faithfully reading everyone else's blogs and truly they have been so helpful in this journey! I was scared of the pre-op diet but I survived...then I was even more scared of what was I doing to myself...I survived! With minimal pain to the port and some stuck/sliming issues, all seems well!

What got me here? I love food, I love to eat and it makes me happy! Slight obsession with food. Yeah I know! My family is Italian and everything we do is focused around food! I have always wanted to be a skinny bitch! I have been a little obsessive on how they do it! I am on my way to being ONE!

I have two beautiful children and and an amazing husband that makes me laugh and scream! I have a great job that I love to come to and can't complain!

I have already started a blog on but as of today I will be a part of the blogger family!