I have been with my babe for over 22 years...yeah we started young! I was 13 and he 17! It was on and off during high school and then it got serious again at around 21 and then at 23 we got married. He was still a little older than me but I was definitely the more "mature" one. He is my love...my best friend and always knows how to make me laugh.
What I struggle with is his selfishness! Damn! Why? I know a lot of guys are but his is painful! What brings this up you say? Well my sister has asked me to go to San Diego with her in July for a few days and I have been arguing with him cause he thinks I shouldn't go. He says we should go as a family. Uhh, do do brain...a lot more affordable for one of us to go rather than a family of 4! We are already booked for Toronto and Montreal (don't get too excited...a hockey tournament and visiting with family - not an ounce of chilling!) in a few weeks but hold on, he goes to VEGAS at the end of May!
YEUP! All 4 of his buddies and I helped him book everything. PISS OFF! So wrong. Its so easy for him to go and enjoy himself but when it comes to me, its always questionable! So not fair. I only ask for a few days away chillin by the pool. Oh yeah, he is not a pool sitter - more like a cat - afraid of the damn water! And when we go on family vacays, we are always running around doing things and its extra special when all 4 (mil is always vacationing with us by the way - widowed and her dumb ass daughter never takes her anywhere!) are staring at me with what's next! Yes, all the pressure is on me to plan and make sure everyone is "good"! I never get to just chill! He doesn't do any of the planning and then complains when we do things that I like! WHATEVER! My mom wants us to go to Puerta Vallarta at Spring Break next year...they are paying for accomodations and he is already complaing! WTF? Done! TIRED of his BS!
Sorry I am rambling...trying to get the whole history in!
We even attempt to go to the Okanagan in the summer for a few days. I really like it, a ton of friends for us and the kids and we all have a blast. You lounge by the pool, drinks, walk and just chill. Guess what, he doesn't want to go back. I am not arguing with him anymore. He has now brainwashed my son as well and I gotta hear it from him. I am gonna finally be stubborn on this one and not go this year. He can maybe feel bad for a minute or so! WHo knows, maybe I am just wasting my time and it won't even phase him!
So back to San Diego...looks like I am not going. I don't have the energy to fight him anymore. I guess the saying is true..."gotta pick your battles"!
Wow, it definitely feels so good to put it out there. You are all a blessing in my life. Someone to listen and talk to!
Ladies and gents, life is hard but we can do it! We are lucky to be breathe! DETERMINED!
Men lol.. I say go. It is only fair him in Vegas.. As my hubby would say why the double standards. I too am the planner but mu hubby knows not to complain. I do the budget, grocery lists, clothes list you name it it falls to me.. I get tired of it and feel like it would be nice to share some of the stress.. Any whoo. Glad you could vent. Have at her and let it go..
ReplyDeleteUgh...I know. HATE that! Why can't the moms go and have a fun weekend sometimes? With NO GUILT?
ReplyDeleteMy husband has no issues with me going. He just considers it a way for him to "bank" up points for the next time he wants to do something. I'm going to chicago in Sept. and Niagara falls in November for a weekend of gambling with an old girlfriend. Sorry to be really frank, but you need to put your foot down and be assertive. he is doing his trip, you are intitled to go to San Diego with your sister. ALONE. Marriage is team work and he needs to get with the program. It's not like you are going off for a week to meet some guy. You are spending time with your sister. I say you need to go. :)
ReplyDeleteI think-plan a trip for everyone-hubby, MIL, kids, you... At the last minute get sick (wink-wink) and send them on their way to enjoy their vacay. You get the house to yourself till they all get back. LOL. Part of it I'm sure is that he will be stuck home with the kids all by himself if you go anywhere. I too agree it isn't fair if he gets Vegas and you don't get San Diego but you know you choose your battles.
ReplyDeleteWhy do men think they can do whatever & women have to check the schedule, make arrangements, etc. Not fair - I say go!!!!
ReplyDeleteBOO! Silly hubby. One day he'll learn, I hope!
ReplyDeleteMy first husband never even let me visit my own mother without him. My now husband John, always says "bye bye....when are you going"! Each of us spends some time with friends or siblings and we go together too. It makes for a happy medium. Sorry about San Diego...:(
ReplyDeleteYou are right and he is wrong. My guess is it has more to do with him not wanting to have to do everything while you are away than him begrudging you the vacation. I think you should go to him one more time and explain your side without anger and let him know it is important to you. And then make the plans without apology. You deserve it!
ReplyDeleteargh- your hubby should let you go- it will be good for you to get a break and get some girl/pool time.
ReplyDeleteMen.
They can be such babies.
Oh lordy-- I am sorry! I hope that you can work this out with your husband... you have a long standing relationship, so something tells me you and he know how to negotiate!! But yeah: sometimes men just don't understand. Thanks for the comments on my blog!!
ReplyDeleteYou all ROCK! Thanks so much...I do appreciate it! Still working on it...keep you posted HOT TOTTIES!
ReplyDelete